


하늘을 색칠하다 (Paint the Sky for Me)

by Aerinikolai



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Drama & Romance, Fantasy, Gender or Sex Swap, joseon era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-22 05:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11960724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerinikolai/pseuds/Aerinikolai
Summary: A legend about how the four seasons came about through the story of Joseon's Crown Prince Kyungsoo's first love.





	1. Spring

**Author's Note:**

> It has truly been a tedious ride for me to write this fic. I had this prompt for ages, waiting for an opportunity to be written; however, Golden Exo came about and I finally knew in my heart that this fest is the perfect avenue for me to write, publish and share this fic with everyone. This has got to be my most ambitious fest entry to date. Though I regret cutting it short, I hope my decision was right. Ah, I don't know anymore! I just hope you like it.
> 
> I'd like to thank the mods who were very patient and understanding of my schedule. Y'all are so lovely! Also, I want to acknowledge @kaisooprompts whose prompt gave birth to this little monster. I hope you like this if you ever get to read it. Lastly, thanks to my lil' sis, Cloud, who's been very supportive (aka nagging endlessly) and served as my ever reliable beta for this fic. She is half of this fic, and I would not (LITERALLY) finish this if not for her. YOU KNOW MY PAIN.
> 
> And to those who will be going on this journey of cliche tropes and drama (lol expect it), may I ask that you leave words of appreciation for my work as I have poured my heart, soul, and mind in writing this (if you liked it, that is), and to the other works in this Fest as well! Thank you!
> 
>  
> 
> PS: I know there will be lots of inconsistencies with real Joseon culture in this fic, but I'm no scholar ;A; I tried my best okay? And this is fantasy, and an AU, so please let me go this once. Hihi! XO

**_Rain is not only drops of water_ **

**_It’s the love of sky for Earth._ **

**_They never meet each other_ **

**_But send love in this way._ ** _(1)_

 

 

_(The sixth month of the year 1515, Maisan)_

 

The Prince arrives at the temple with six of his ladies in waiting and his faithful attendant Eunuch Park early in the morning. It was a four-day travel from the Capital. Despite the warmth of the sun, the journey has been serene for the prince, though he doubts the same for his retinue. The heat has been intense for the past days and he's been apologetic to his stewards the moment they stepped out the palace gates. Despite suffering from the heat, all they did was make sure that the prince is comfortable.

A monk welcomes them and helps settle all the possessions they traveled with, guiding them through the small temple and into their temporary chambers for the next weeks. The prince is offered a humble, small room - quite different from the grandiose of his palace back in Hanyang. No bed, nor silk sheets, just a thin mattress lay neatly on the floor. Even windows, there are none, except for the door, plaid with _hanji,_ already torn in some parts.

Yet, the prince likes it. It's not every day he can be in a place where no ministers would judge his every move, nor there would be the suffocating presence of his attendants. It is just too much for him even if he grew up and lived in the palace all his life. It’s not every day that he can be an ordinary man, not the Crown Prince of Joseon.

As his retinue finishes all the arrangements for their stay, the prince goes to visit the sanctuary where the rain ritual will be held. It surprises him as he pulls open its doors as it was empty, aside from the wooden altar at the corner where a porcelain vase stands, a branch with green and brown leaves dangling gracefully from its mouth. Covering the walls are windows side by side, lanterns hang in each corner.

“Your Highness, you have arrived.” A deep, yet gentle voice speaks beside him, and the prince finds a young man, bowing in courtesy. The prince only sees the top of the man’s hat but the striking hue within is obvious to him. The other lifts his head as he is acknowledged, and flashes the prince a smile, heart-warming and soft as he pulls off his hat. His eyes are the color of hazel, his hair, a ravishing shade of rose, one that surrounded Kyungsoo’s mother’s garden in the palace, where the prince used to play as a child.

The prince is amazed at how a man could be this… beautiful.

“Ah, yes.” The prince answers back, not before clearing his throat to distract himself from staring longer. The other flashes him another smile, the corner of his eyes crinkled by the stretch.

“My name is Kai, Your Highness.” He bows again. “I will accompany you through the ritual. Please be comfortable.”

“I am pleased to meet you,” the prince replies. “Kai.” Ah, this name. It’s a name he’s never heard of but still, it rolls off his tongue quite… nicely. “What an unusual name you have,” he adds, “but it fits you.” He sputters before he is able to comprehend his thoughts.

 _Kai_ chuckles softly. “Thank you, Your Highness.” The prince could’ve sworn he could hear birds chirping in his ear. “I hope you enjoy your stay in this humble temple and may your prayers be heard.” He says with a shy smile. “I shall take my leave. I will see you in the morning.”

Kai turns his heels and walks out the door, and the prince, struck by an unknown force he cannot describe, continues to watch the other’s retreating back, at the lavender hanbok Kai is wearing, donned with flowers fit for his beauty, dancing softly against the wind.

When the prince lays at his temporary chambers that evening, he dreams of a field of flowers bending and moving in the direction of the wind, each bud the color of Kai’s hair, covered in morning dew.

 

~

The prince is awakened even before the sun has risen in the east. The ritual should start in the second hour after light covers the sky completely.

Waking up in the shabby chamber for the first time feels surreal for him, similar to the strange feelings of his on the first morning after being crowned as Crown Prince. The palace was indeed a cruel place, a den of tigers and lions waiting to devour preys. By work of a miracle, he was spared from the mayhem and a curse that took his younger brothers' lives, and in turn of events, was crowned as heir to the throne, and sat where his elder brother, Prince Seungsoo, son of the late queen, sat almost all of his life.

It was never his intention to be more than what he could have been - just a young prince born of a talented court lady from the Royal Kitchen. Her mother found favor in the King’s eyes and was chosen to be his concubine, eventually his Royal Consort. He loves her dearly, and if only the King had his way, Lady Do would be queen. A new Queen ascended to the throne after the former was charged with treason for plotting the deaths of the other princes in the palace, to protect the crown on her son’s head.

Now the prince has duties to fulfill, and his only wish is that to make his mother and the king, as well as the people of the land, proud; or at least make them believe he is worthy of his place.

Many believe he is undeserving. While the former Crown Prince was from a powerful clan, he is not. But what made it worse is the drought that struck the land after his coronation. The young prince then was questioning the heavens as it seemed displeased of him as the heir. He feared the deposed queen’s words before her death sentence - that Kyungsoo will never be King.

Since then, the land continued to suffer from poverty and hunger, epidemics spread like wildfire in the provinces killing many - all the blame was put on the crown on his head.

Now the people, the ministers and the members of the Royal House expect him to prove himself, and that the heavens approve of his enthronement. They believe it is he who should appease the heavens with a ritual so that it accepts him as the heir to the throne; also so that the heavens send rain for the people’s crops to grow once again, for the land to flourish.

It is a desperate time for his people and their families. It is a desperate time for the prince.

So there he is in that chamber, humbled to his core, without the comfort of the palace and its extravagance of a life. He is a nobody here; not the Crown Prince - only _Kyungsoo_ , the representative of the people to plead with the heavens to give life back to their dying kingdom.

“Your Highness, are you awake?” Eunuch Park’s voice echoes through the room the prince is in, like how it was back in the palace to begin the day. Kyungsoo hums in response, fighting off the sleep that’s still creeping through his senses, as he failed to succumb to it for the past hour because of the persistent thoughts in his head.

Myriad of thoughts fill his head since he woke up; and though he barely remembers the last of his pondering, the dream he had the night before is clear in his memory - the striking color of the flowers in the field. Somehow, the prince looks forward to the ritual as he would be able to see that beautiful shade of rose again.

The tall eunuch, still wearing the same green robes he wore in the palace, comes in with folded clothes on his arms, and waits until the prince stands, to clothe him and officially begin his day.

The prince dons a white ensemble of a hanbok, the simplest he’s worn since young, with its fabric not made of silk but a material thicker and rather simpler. The eunuch lets the prince’s hair loose for the ritual, tying only the upper section into a knot, and the rest combed straight down his back. After a while, Eunuch Park steps back and mutters, “You are ready, Your Highness.”

And Kyungsoo takes it as a signal to take his leave for the sanctuary.

 

~

When he steps inside the sanctuary, Kai is already there kneeling by the altar. His hair, braided loosely down his back, is decorated with small flowers, white and red, in contrast to the black ensemble he is wearing.

Upon realizing that the prince has arrived, he turns to his side to look at him somehow, and bows his head in greeting, “Your Highness,” acknowledging his presence.

Albeit hesitating, the prince walks to him and kneels by his side, taking careful glances, unsure of what he must do. The head priestess in the palace have rehearsed the ritual with him, but being with Kai strangely felt like it won’t be the same as he was taught.

Kai stares at the porcelain vase on the altar, eyes calm and soft. He looks at peace. It’s the second time Kyungsoo gets to see him and yet, the astonishment he experiences from looking at his features lingers for long. It feels like the first time. He notices the other’s neat, thick brows and hazy hazel eyes, the sharp nose and jaw, his plump pink lips and the sun-kissed skin that looks _glorious_ on him. He could almost believe that Kai was from a different land, if not for the fact that he speaks their language fluently.

It’s a question for a different time because suddenly, Kai looks at him, muttering a question. “What are you praying for?” Kyungsoo realizes he’s been staring at the other as long as Kai did at the altar. A soft smile appears on Kai’s lips as he waits for an answer.

Kyungsoo breaks eye contact, feeling his cheeks flush from being noticed. Since when does he feel intimidated? He’s so used to intimidating his subjects but Kai seems different. All these feelings are foreign to him. Pulling his thoughts together, he confidently stares back at the hazel eyes that draw him in like a spell.

“That the heavens send rain for my people.” He replies. Kai nods at him before shifting his gaze back to the altar. Kyungsoo feels a little change in the air as if something shifted. The air feels thick.

“Is that all you need? Is it really the only thing you came here for?” Kai asks him again.

The prince only nods in response. By all means, it is the reason why he had to leave the palace and come all the way to Maisan, to this temple. “ _The drought has been too long._ ” He thinks to himself.

“I see.” Kai replies, the disappointment obvious in the tone of his voice; yet Kyungsoo doesn’t catch it, because he is already focused on the task in hand. He begins to stand up from where he knelt and kneels again, repeating until the sun has set, with one thought in his mind - a genuine wish for the heavens to send rain.

It goes on for days - the ritual, or however it must be called as Kai didn’t lead him through a ceremony he expected. On the second day, he stopped Kyungsoo from his prayer, and told him to just sit still, to ponder on the  reasons why he was there.

He kneels there in silence each day, from early morning until Kai says it’s over and lets him leave, with Kai left alone in the Sanctuary to finish the ritual.

They never talked following the first day, and Kyungsoo never met him outside the sanctuary, to his curiosity. When he sits there, he focuses on praying to the heavens silently, trying his best to not mind Kai’s presence. And though he tried his hardest, he would always find himself looking, _staring._

And during these moments, these subtle glances, Kyungsoo finds himself being drawn to the other, to his mystery and his silence, to the peace Kai undeniably shares with him.

 

One day though, about three weeks into the ritual, Kai finally speaks to him again.

He doesn’t look at Kyungsoo, but he utters a very familiar question, “What are you praying for, Your Highness?”

His answer doesn’t change. “That the heavens send rain for my people.”

“You come all the way here, four days away from home to ask something as simple as rain, is that it?” Kai replies coldly. “And when the rain comes, then what?”

Kyungsoo stares at him in silence. He never really thought further than that. The land needs rain, but he never looked past it. For the first time, he tries to think harder, to come up with an answer that hopefully, would satisfy the other.

“I came here for the ritual - one that would send rain to the land. So that the people may be able to farm and feed their families. They can trade once again, the market will be alive, and the people will be happy.”

Kai shifts from kneeling to sit cross-legged, and faces him. “So what is it you ultimately want then? Is it the rain? Or that people have food? Or that they be happy?”

Kyungsoo finally replies with confidence upon Kai’s attention on him. “That they be satisfied with their life under my father’s rule. But more than that, I pray that they accept me as his heir, and they believe I was chosen by the heavens, too, or at least I did enough that the heavens listened to my plea; that I moved the heavens for them.”

Finally, after weeks of stoic and empty looks, a smile appears on Kai’s lips. Kyungsoo’s chest lightens at the sight of it, taking a deep breath. He swears he could smell the sweetest scent of flowers.

“I pray that the heavens hear your plea.” Kai mutters. He stands up from where he sits, and Kyungsoo notices a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, how the other softly bites on his lips and how he suddenly was struggling to look back at him. Kai manages to bow to hide the struggle, folding his hands together, hiding them in the sleeves of his black hanbok.

“Is there something wrong? Please tell me.” The prince asks, uneasy. Deep inside, he is afraid Kai would go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Kai shakes his head and instantly lifts his eyes to look down on him. Kyungsoo mutters breathless, “I’d rather hear your thoughts than be kept in the silence.”

Softly, Kai replies, “I was wondering if…” he stutters, taking a deep breath, “if you’d like to stay until I finish the ritual.”

With an invitation like that, the prince couldn’t say no. He does stay, of course, and he finds more reasons to be amazed; because that evening, when the sun is almost setting in the west and the sky got darker, _Kai danced._

He danced like a delicate flower carried by the wind; like water running gracefully through rivers but as vigorous as it falls down violent waterfalls. His long arms extended like wings of a crane dancing for their mates, that the sleeves cannot hide the lean muscles within. His shoulders and back bend like that of branches dancing in the strong wind while his feet slid across the floor like he floated on air. The more he spins, the prince’s eyes focused more; the more he dances, the deeper he is drawn.

Kyungsoo realized the fact that Kai is more beautiful than nature, as if he is nature itself and that he can't help but be pulled into his presence.

Kyungsoo, in his trance, finds himself walking to the other, catching the extended arm mid-turn and when Kai stops in surprise, he pulls him close, not caring for anything. He traces his fingers from the roots of the other’s pink hair and let his fingers run down, the loosening the braids, the flowers decorating Kai’s hair falling to the floor. The prince notices now how the other is a head taller than he is and that in his most humble state, this man, _Kai_ , his beauty, grace - all of him -  is beyond him.

Unbothered by the proximity, Kai whispers to his ear, “What are you praying for, Your Highness?”

Inebriated by his pull, the prince whispers back, “That I find happiness, too.” Kyungsoo stares back with glassy eyes, with his breath hitching and chest pounding, all the while Kai leans down, lips touching his in a soft, chaste kiss.

“The heavens shall listen to you, Your Highness.” Kai whispers against Kyungsoo’s lips as he pulls away. The prince stands there undone and is filled with such bizarre thoughts of longing and want; but what wakes him up from the  trance is the sound of soft drips and splatters.

In the serene sanctuary, the sound of droplets meeting soil echoes louder and louder as moments pass.

The rain has come at last.

Eunuch Park comes rushing into the sanctuary with joyful eyes, his hair and robes soaked in the rain they are all waiting for.

“Your Highness! It's raining!” The eunuch mutters as if it was not obvious by the view beyond the doors, where the attendants are already dancing in the rain, arms in the air and hands clapping in joy.

Kyungsoo, himself, can't contain his joy that he pulls Kai into his arms in an embrace, feeling the other chuckling, shoulders shaking against his body. “Your pure heart moved the heavens. Your prayers were heard, Your Highness,” Kai whispers against his ear, circling his arms around the prince as well, an arm flat on Kyungsoo’s back while the other pulls strong around his waist drawing him closer.

The prince has never been embraced like this his whole life until now. He is royalty after all; but in this man's arms, it didn't matter - he was no prince.

“Kyungsoo. My name is Kyungsoo.” The prince whispers in joy and a grateful heart, embracing Kai tighter. “Thank you, Kai.”

 

~

The two continue to spend time in the sanctuary for more days, for one, one night of rain is not enough. They have to continue praying for more. The second reason would be the prince growing fond of watching the other dance as the light outside fades away until it is only the fire flickering from the lanterns that lights the room. By then, Kai’s silhouette dancing in the dim lights offers the prince solace; the prince wanting to bask in that special moment a while longer. They sit there morning until afternoon, until Kai finishes the day with the dance Kyungsoo already grew familiar with.

On the seventh day since the first rain, the prince walks out of his chambers only to find Kai standing outside the door, dressed in a blue hanbok, a shade that is similar to the colour of the sea. Kyungsoo felt underdressed as he only wore the ensemble for the ritual.

As if hearing his thoughts, Kai chuckles. “You may want to wear something else, Your Highness. I was thinking of taking you to see the nearby town. I think we deserve rest after six nights of rain.” He looks excited as a child even under the shadow of his hat, yet his features look more mature than his own, Kyungsoo notices. He used to think that he looks strong and regal, but next to Kai, he looks rather common.

Kyungsoo can only nod in response, albeit feeling an unusual excitement. He hastily walks back into his room, calling for Eunuch Park to ready him more suitable clothes. Once done, he is just in a slightly darker shade of blue than of Kai’s, his hair tied into a topknot, with his hat secured with a knot on his chin.

When he walks out again, Kai is already atop a horse, fingers clutching onto the reins.

“Shall we go?” He asks with a sheepish smile. Kyungsoo looks around and waits for an attendant to bring him his horse but no one seems to be coming. “Come on now, Crown Prince,” Kai teases, “The sun isn't going to wait for us.”  He offers his hand with a slight grin on his face. “Hop on.”

The unexplainable feeling bubbles once again in Kyungsoo's chest. Without a second thought, he takes the other’s hand and lets him pull him up. Back against chest, an arm around his waist while the other hand holding on the reins, it feels too intimate.

He feels Kai’s breath on his nape as they go on their journey, and the warmth against his back makes him even more conscious of the heavy feeling in his chest being this close to Kai. He is unsure of what to make of it, but one thing is for sure, Kyungsoo is happy like this, close to him, close to Kai.

They ride down the mountain and arrive at the outskirts of the nearest town, and the prince notices the smiles on the people's faces as they greet each passerby. It becomes livelier as they go further into the town proper. Kai leads them to one stable run by some noble in town, and there have their horse taken care of so they can walk around the town for a while.

They walk along the streets, not as crowded as those in the capital, but still as busy as the markets back in Hanyang. Children play happily in the puddles of water from the rain of the night before, and men walk through the streets with baskets on their back filled with herbs. Kyungsoo watches merchants’ faces light up seeing the mass of customers stopping by their stalls. Not a week has gone but the immediate effect of the rain is already obvious.

“My Lord! Please take a look at my things! You may find something you like!” One merchant screams happily at the two while waving his hand; and Kyungsoo, seeing the colourful variety of items on the said merchant’s cart, pulls Kai with him to the street corner where the merchant is.

“Ah, my Lord, you don't seem to be from here.” The merchant mumbles. He looks at Kai with a slight bow and his eyes widen in surprise. “You visited, my Lord. How long has it been?”

Kai chuckles at that, nodding casually to the merchant. “It's been a while, yes. My friend here is from the capital.” He says as he looks at Kyungsoo. “We are seeing the town for a while. How's business in the last few days, Minseok?”

“It's been great, my Lord.” Minseok beams. “The previous years were rough. I had to stay in the capital for months in a year to sell, to be able to feed my family. This town was almost deserted but thanks to the rain, we were able to run back here with our families. The market ran two days after the first night of rain and all the people are so happy, my Lord.” The merchant replies excitedly.

Kai nods with a satisfied look on his face. “That's great to hear, Minseok. Anyway, what do you have for me?” He eyes the items on the cart and the merchant does as well.

“My Lord,” the merchant winces, “what can I offer to a man like you? You have everything.” Minseok shyly murmurs then looks at Kyungsoo, “but for you my Lord, I have items for you to remember this place by when you return to the capital.”

He looks down his cart and ogles for a while, probably contemplating what would he offer to someone like Kyungsoo, having no idea what kind of a man he is. His cart is filled with ornaments made of shells and pearls bracelets and chain rings that women would definitely love. On one side, pouches and brooches are displayed and on another, colourful hair pins, ribbons and pendants. It's funny how this merchant sells items only for women but still he ponders hard what he would give Kyungsoo.

One that catches the prince’s attention though, is a strip of red silk cloth with strings at the end. He suddenly remembers his mother back when he was younger, before the crown and all. She used to cook for him the most delicious of meals, even preparing a banquet on her own in honour of the prince’s birthday. She would always use that specific ribbon to tie her hair and it looks almost the same as the one in the cart.

Instantly, as if hearing his thoughts, Kai reaches down to the hair tie he is eyeing, tracing a finger over the soft fabric and then, handing it to Kyungsoo.

“Do you like it?” he asks, pointing at the ribbon in Kyungsoo’s hand. The other smiles, letting fabric glide over his palms as he pulls it with his fingers.

“My mother used to wear something like this,” he explains. “This reminded me of her, that's all. She asked me to keep hers after my younger brothers died, a remembrance that I lived.”

“How about this one, my Lord?” Minseok interrupts, handing him the same item but in a different shade. It is in a lighter shade of red much like Kai’s hair, rosy and pale.

“Something to remember me by, I guess?” Kai adds, smirking as he eyes the piece of cloth in the prince's hand. He chuckles lightly as he hands the merchant a silver or two. The prince is about to argue about him buying the item but Kai’s hand is already waving in the air. “Take it as a gift from me, Your Highness.”

He casually looks at Minseok for the last time and slightly bows his head with a finger on his hat and then walks away. “Thank you, my Lords.” The merchant says as he bids goodbye. Kyungsoo quickens his pace to match with Kai’s long but slow strides ,and they walk through the street a little longer, stopping by a few more stalls. They walk side by side in comfortable silence. Be it his imagination, but sometimes, the prince would catch Kai’s hazel orbs looking at him, but more often, unknown to the prince, it is him being caught looking at the other.

When the breeze started to grow colder and blow harsher, making their robes flutter, Kai suggested they travel back to the temple.

 

~

It is almost sunset when the two reach the temple in the mountains, and a horde of uniformed men are loitering in the temple grounds, talking among themselves animatedly. Court ladies are there as well, talking among themselves, smiling as they talk to Kyungsoo’s personal attendants.

Kyungsoo jumps down from the horse as Eunuch Park runs to them, grinning, not before bowing to greet Kai as well. “Your Highness, you have returned. You are summoned back to the palace.”

“Is that so?” Kai murmurs, pushing himself to the side, to jump to Kyungsoo’s side. Kai looks at him, waiting for any reaction.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do, or to think. Still, the smile on his eunuch’s face disturbs him. “You look more excited than I should, Eunuch Park. I didn’t expect to go back too soon.” He says with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

Noticing the prince’s troubled voice, Eunuch Park quickly bows in apology. “Your Highness, this place doesn’t suit you.” He explains. “The Crown Prince must be in the palace where he belongs. You have done your task well in this temple, Your Highness. The King orders you go back.” The Eunuch finally retreats and goes on his way back to the prince’s chambers, completing the arrangements for their leave.

The prince sighs. Going back to that chaotic place would be much more dangerous for him now. Through the rain, he has proven he is worthy of his title, but it only means that his life is much more at risk. His position as Crown Prince may have strengthened because people will believe that the heavens approve of him, yet the more power he has, the more people would threaten him.

If not for the responsibility on his head and the greater future ahead, he would opt to stay there in the temple, where it is serene. He was never at peace in the palace.

Besides, if he leaves now, he’d leave Kai behind. There’s just no place for him the capital, and it will endanger them both if word gets out that the prince favors a shaman in the mountains of Maisan. It would ensue chaos. He just can’t do that to this Father.

Strangely, Kai pulls his hand and warmth seeps through the gaps of Kyungsoo’s fingers, and only then the prince realizes that the other has intertwined their fingers. “I knew our time will be short, and that you won’t stay for long. Please remember me when it rains.”

“I’d like to stay longer.” The prince mutters. “If only it would rain, just for a few hours to delay my journey.”

Kai chuckles as he nods, telling him he wishes the same.

The prince remembers the first night it rained. He remembers Kai in his black hanbok, hair braided with flowers, dancing beautifully. _If only-_

“Will you dance for me then? Before I leave?” The prince inquires. “Maybe the heavens would answer my wish one last time.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” Kai lets go of his hands and begins to make way for the sanctuary. They walk through the crowd, while the prince follows, earning bows of greeting from the royal guards and the court ladies, but the prince’s mind is concentrated on the man whose back is slowly getting further away, almost gone as Kai opens the door to the sanctuary.

“Your Highness,” a man suddenly kneels in front him, halting Kyungsoo from his dazed walk. “I am General Kim. My men and I will escort you back to the capital.”

“Give me an hour before we leave. Wait until I come out of the sanctuary and let no one in.” He commands.

The general bows, “As you wish,” finally retreating back to his post.

Kyungsoo’s chest tightens with varying emotions of fear, joy, and sadness. Somehow, learning that he will part with Kai made the air in his lungs feel thick and heavy. For the many reasons why he wants to stay longer, he cannot just point which one is the main motive to stay. Figuring he won’t find answers anyway, he reaches down the ring handles of the door and helps himself in, and closing them behind him.

Kai stands there waiting.

“Your Highness.” He greets, bowing, with a playful smile ever on his lips. With the time the two spent together, the prince only wishes for Kai to treat him like this - like he is no royalty, like a friend. Knowing that Kai is only playing with him with the fake formalities, he chuckles.

Feeling comfortable, albeit the pounding in his chest, Kyungsoo walks to the other with heavy steps, realizing that every step would mean time is getting shorter for them. His hand reaches to the ribbon on Kai’s chin, pulling them loose, taking his time to take off the hat, and finally dropping them unceremoniously to the floor. Kai turns around and lifts his head, that the prince can reach up to the headband around his head, inviting the prince to untie it for him. Unclipped, the cloth falls down to the floor, and his hair falls down his shoulders elegantly.

It is breathtaking. Being so close to Kai, Kyungsoo notices the strands of his hair are thick as a horse’s mane, but it is soft to touch. Each strand is a different shade of rose, from pale to red to almost white, but collectively, the shade is that of the petals of the flower peony. With deliberate movements, the prince takes comfort in running his fingers through Kai’s hair, untangling some.

Kai suddenly turns around and looks at him with hooded eyes, taking him by surprise as he is pushed down to the floor. Kai leans down on him, his hair falling over his shoulders as Kyungsoo lays uncomfortable with the position and helpless under him. Their gazes fall into each other’s lips and then back to the eyes, but Kai just kneels there, staring and staring, taking in every sight.

“Please, don’t forget me.” He whispers as he leans closer to the prince’s ear. “When the rain falls, I pray you remember me.”

When the first drops of rain echo from the roof, lips found one another, and Kai is kissing him, full of passion and heat, fingers caressing Kyungsoo’s cheeks and down his neck as he deepens the kiss. The prince surrenders as he knows what his body wants, despite his consciousness screaming at him for letting Kai touch him. More than him being touched, he cares for Kai, that if anyone sees, Kai would be killed in an instant. Kyungsoo pulls him closer, not minding the persistent thoughts in his head.

He doesn’t mind. He chooses not to mind. He’ll be leaving. Why should he hold back?

“When will I see you again?” Kai whispers as he breaks the kiss, pulling away just enough so that his hazel eyes can meet Kyungsoo’s round ones.

“I don’t know.” The prince whispers. “Will I be able to see you again?”

Kai, slightly disappointed of his answer, pulls away and sits back down on the floor, pulling the prince up to sit in front him.

“I can’t promise you anything.” Kai murmurs.

“But I will see you again, right?” Kyungsoo asks, hopeful.

Kai, instead, answers with a familiar question. “What are are you praying for lately, Your Highness? Will you plead the heavens that we meet again?”

Kyungsoo isn’t sure. He is hopeful, but at the back of his mind, looking past what they have, there’s just no place for Kai in the Crown Prince’s life. Yet, he answered, “yes,” despite the uncertainty; even if he isn’t sure if he was willing to ask the heavens if he could be with this man and sacrifice so much. “I hope we meet again.” He says.

“Then I will hope so, too, _Kyungsoo.”_ Kai smiles softly, fingers tracing the other’s cheek gently, stopping at the corner of his lips. Kyungsoo notices that Kai just called him by his name. The rain outside suddenly stops falling even before Kyungsoo can ponder, and a knock comes from the outside. Eunuch Park announces that they are ready to leave.

“Thank you, Kai.” Kyungsoo quickly mutters, taking Kai’s hand. They both stand up, before Kai once again kneels in front of him to bow, palms flat on the floor. It is the highest form of respect.

“It was an honour serving you, Your Highness.” He says. He stands up and walks past the prince without a second look, leaving the baffled prince alone, feeling empty and confused.

That night, Kyungsoo began his journey back to the Capital, with no goodbye from Kai.


	2. Autumn

**_The leaves are falling,_ **

**_And they’re falling like_ **

**_They’re falling in love with the ground._ ** _(2)_

 

 

_(The ninth month of the year 1515, Hanyang)_

 

“Hyungnim!” The young prince Sehun beams at Kyungsoo when he arrives at the Queen’s palace, where Sehun and his mother lives. Since Kyungsoo came back months ago, the palace has been peaceful, albeit his doubts. The ministers have kept mum about the rain and the heaven’s will upon his crown. For now, the court is busy rebuilding from the drought that brought the land to poverty and famine.

Prince Sehun is about ten years younger than Kyungsoo is, born from quite a family of stature. His grandfather is one of the higher ranking officials in the court and his clan, one of the richest nobles in the capital, making them a formidable clan of power. Sehun may be a young boy now, but given his mother’s ties, he is a prince of power, one that can contest Kyungsoo’s eligibility as Crown Prince. Kyungsoo tries not to think of him that way, but as he always believed, the palace is full of hungry wolves, ready to devour unknowing preys. He was and always will be at risk.

Kyungsoo can only wish that Sehun grows much older before anything happens, that he is old enough to understand the workings of the palace. He wishes for the politics and power struggles in the palace not taint his brother’s innocence and purity of heart.

“How are you, Sehun? Where’s the Queen?” Kyungsoo greets the young prince, ruffling his hair. In return, the boy catches the hem of his royal blue robes and tugs its end, pulling playfully. He and Sehun have always been close. Sehun would always look forward to his elder brother visiting.

“Mother is in the…” He contemplates, “She’s in the Bureau of Music. She’s already preparing the songs for Hyungnim's birthday. You know of the banquet, am I right? I was watching but Master Kim is already waiting for me.” It’s still four months before the Crown Prince’s birthday and yet, the Queen takes participation in preparations. He cannot blame her, as this is the Queen’s specialty, preparing the banquets for the royal family.

“You can go there, hyungnim. You can tell her what music you don’t like so she won’t pick them. Besides, she called for dancers for the banquet. You might want to see some pretty gisaengs!” Sehun teases with a sly grin. A court lady walks to the siblings and announces the arrival of the young prince’s private tutor. “I have to go, hyungnim!” He shouts as he runs away hurriedly, “I don’t want Master Kim to punish me for being late!”

Eunuch Park leads the way to the Bureau of Music, and even from afar, Kyungsoo can already hear instruments being played. One of the officers welcomes them and ushers the prince into the hall where the musicians are rehearsing. The officer, Lord Lee, carefully explains to the prince the frequent visits of the Queen, confirming Sehun’s story about the preparations.

The music halts when he steps out the office to the open hall, and all the musicians and the dancers bow in greetings. Even the Queen turns to greet him.

“What brings you here, Crown Prince?” She mutters as she walks closer, hands kept inside the flap of her striking red hanbok.

“I’ve come to visit you.” He replies, smiling. “Besides, I heard that this is for my birthday. I should come and see. I’m grateful that you are personally involved.”

The Queen gracefully nods and chuckles elegantly. “Ah, yes. Did you see my little Sehun on your way? He would’ve stayed if he can and watched with you. He very much enjoys watching performances as these.”

“I will watch with him when we get the chance.” Kyungsoo replies. Seeing the number of heads still bowing to him, he continues, “By any means, please don’t let my presence bother you. Continue with your rehearsals. I just wanted to visit you.”

“You flatter me, Crown Prince.” She shyly smiles. “But, thank you for coming all the way here. Would you like to see the performances we are preparing?”

“If I may, I’d like to.” He replies. The Queen leads him to a corner and lets him sit with her behind one of the tea tables. One of the court ladies offers the prince a cushion to sit on. The queen speaks loud then, cueing the performers to begin.

The music begins and the hall is filled with undeniable synchronization of the instruments. The musicians play with finesse and mastery, their skills only proper for a court musician. The song continues on, seamless to the next, and at one point, ladies walk in and begin to dance. The prince watches intently, swaying his head to the music, enthralled as the ladies twirl across the floor, arms waving in uniformity.

After the ladies’ performance, the Queen stands up and moves to sit in the front line of the musicians, asking one of her attendants to hand her a _Gayageum_ , and cradles it on her lap. She begins plucking the strings, and plays a much more delicate, solemn tune compared to the previous songs.

The prince is so immersed in watching her graceful fingers dance along the strings until another dancer steps forward to perform a routine. This time, it is a woman in a plum pair of floral hanbok who steps in the middle.

She begins to move - one step to her left, and another to the right, arms and slender fingers extended to the air. Her movements are fluid, in perfect sync with every strum of the instrument. When the woman spins, Kyungsoo finally notices the details of her movements. It is graceful and very familiar. Even the build of her body is familiar, albeit being feminine. She continues to dance, until finally, the prince is able to catch a glimpse of her face, even with the mask that covers half of it.

It is undeniable. She even looks like _him_ . Kyungsoo had fit the memory, yet seeing her feels quite different at the same time. Her long hair, neatly combed and tied behind her, is a dark shade of brown. Her eyes are deep and black, like that of a charcoal ink. But her movements are exactly _Kai_ ’s, Kyungsoo is sure of it.

Memories flood his mind as he continues to watch her dance, seeing himself back in the sanctuary where Kai danced. He remembers the color of his hair and his hazel eyes staring back at him. His movements are still clear to him. He can remember every detail, how he spins or points his toes, or how he smirks when he gets into a momentum. Kyungsoo can remember him clearly, his warmth and his silence, his smile. Still, seeing this woman dancing in front him exactly as how Kai did during their time together, feels like a haunting memory.

Yet the mystery lies in the open - this dancer is a woman; and Kai was clearly not.

Kyungsoo barely notices the song finishing as his eyes follow the dancer’s retreating figure. “Crown Prince, are you alright?” She muttered worriedly, “Don’t you like the piece? I can always change the music to your liking.”

The prince shakes his head profusely as he looks back at her. “That’s not it, Your Majesty. I very much enjoyed the music, but the dancer… She seemed familiar.”

The Queen looks afar, at the ladies outside who are around the said dancer, praising her for a wonderful performance. “Ah, Jongin? She’s good, isn’t she?” She mutters proudly. Somehow, the name she speaks of disappoints the prince, learning that it wasn’t _Kai_ , and that all there were are vague similarities.

“Can I meet her?” Kyungsoo requests, still eyeing the dancer outside. The shock is obvious in everyone’s face, and the whole band of musicians. The ladies outside are still murmuring among themselves, until they notice the silence from inside the hall. Even _Jongin_ looks inside.

“I believe summoning courtesans into your palace will bring more harm than good to you. I cannot grant your request.” She replies calmly before turning to face the court musicians. “We shall continue in the morning. Leave us.”

Everyone shuffles out the hall and the next moment, the prince is already alone with queen, except for their own attendants. She once again sits by Kyungsoo’s side with a confused look on her face.

“I cannot just grant your request in front of the people. I never expected you to give the honour to accompany you so openly. I had to deny you of your request.” She explains. “What is with this woman, then? I assume you have a reason why you’d like to meet Jongin?”

“Like I said, she’s just familiar, like she’s someone I’ve met before. Let me see her once. It is out of curiosity, that’s all. Even if it’s outside the palace, to not stir up unpleasant rumors, I’d like to see her.” Kyungsoo mutters back without even thinking twice.

 

~

After three nights of contemplating on whether or not to personally look for this Jongin, and well, planning on how to leave the palace without anyone knowing, Kyungsoo finds himself in the streets of the capital heading to the Gisaeng house owned by the queen’s distant cousin, where the courtesan apparently stays.

“Welcome, my Lord.” A young man guarding the entrance post of the said gisaeng house greets him. “Please come in.”

The place is buzzing with laughter and loud voices of women and men alike. Gisaengs are walking around in groups, animatedly talking with finesse. There are men who are holding trays in their hands with bottles of wine, coming in and out of the private quarters. Kyungsoo notices one officer from the palace come out of one of the rooms, drunk and holding onto one of the ladies for support.

One of the ladies walking around suddenly notices him and quickly runs to him, circling her arm around his, clutching tightly. “Hello, my Lord! Is it your first time? I am Soojung, this house’s best courtesan. Let me accompany you, my Lord. My night has been lonely.” She whimpers.

Kyungsoo, taken aback, quickly pulls his arm from the woman’s hold. “No, thank you.” He politely declines.

“Perhaps you already have someone in mind?” She pouts.

“I am looking for Jongin.” Kyungsoo replies, eyeing the other gisaengs walking around.

Soojung sighs, disappointed. “Always the favorite, Jongin.” She grunts bitterly, rolling her eyes. “She should be in the room at the end of the hall, my Lord, but I doubt she’ll accept you. She doesn’t entertain anyone.”

“ _Looking for me?_ ” A familiar voice speaks behind them, and Jongin is seen just entering the gisaeng house. Kyungsoo instantly registers her voice too similar to Kai’s, but still it is a woman’s voice. As he turns around, confusion strikes him harder.

Jongin’s hair was tied above her head, her headpiece is that of a _haengsu_ , a courtesan of the highest rank within that house. Jongin gives him a knowing look, but before the prince is able to utter a word, she’s already walking towards the building, letting Kyungsoo follow her through the corridors, and to the room at the end of the hall, where Soojung directed him to earlier.

She slides the door panels of the room close and turns around to face the other, staring at him for long minutes before speaking.

“What can I do for you, Your Highness?” She mutters softly. Kyungsoo is relieved she recognizes him, at least, maybe from that one time in the palace, even in his casual clothes.

Kyungsoo stands there unmoving, taking his time to finally look at her in the light. She looks rather exotic compared to the common courtesan, and the way she stood gives an aura of a woman who’s been doing this work all her life; and that she’s obviously good at it. Her face looks dewy, her lips are red and plump from cosmetics, and her eyes, mesmerizing. Kyungsoo notices the dull glaze in her eyes, but doesn’t ponder on it for too long.

“I believe this is not a place for you, Your Highness.” Jongin speaks again. Kyungsoo can’t help but stare, still fascinated by Jongin’s appearance. It irks him to see the outline of her slim torso and the top of her plump chest in the almost see-through top of her elaborately designed hanbok; but what he finds more perturbing is her face, because it is _Kai’s_ , no doubt. Kyungsoo has no words. He watches as her eyes resign from the silence, and she takes a deep breath, bowing.

“Is there anyone there?” She mutters calmly. A voice of a man echoes from the outside in reply. “Get us tea, please.” She commands. When the shadow left, she walks further into the room and settles on the floor by the table, and invites the prince to sit with her. Gathering his clattered thoughts, Kyungsoo follows, questions and confusion rushing through his head.

Jongin sits there, silent and waiting.

“How long have you been here?” He finally asks.

“Just a few weeks back, Your Highness.” She replied, eyes leaving his, anxiously looking elsewhere.

Noticing Jongin’s uneasiness, the prince speaks again. “I’m sorry for coming unannounced. I’m sure you’re busy tonight.” It is awkward for him to sit there and see Jongin’s features that close. He doesn’t know how to feel, isn’t sure how to act. He didn’t even plan on how to confront the woman once they meet.

Kyungsoo came out of pure curiosity. He reminds himself that.

Jongin chuckles. “It’s not as you imagined. I do not entertain guests, actually. I only train the courtesans in dance and music, until I have to leave again.” She explains. Just then, the doors slide open, and a man approaches the two with a tray in hand.

“Jongin, you have a guest.” The man says arrogantly as he puts down the tray to the table. Kyungsoo recognizes him as the relative of the queen who runs the gisaeng house. When the man shifts and turns to look at the prince, his eyes grew wide in shock, instantly bowing down on his knees, recognizing who he was, his previous facade gone. “Your H-Highness!” He stutters. “I was not told you’d come! I would have prepared something for you.”

“Of course.” Kyungsoo grunts. “Why would I tell anyone I’m visiting such a place? People will start talking, and I’ll be in the center of a baseless rumour. Isn’t that so?” Kyungsoo stares at him, wanting for his point to get across.

The man shuffles and bows again furiously. “Of course! O-Of course!” He stutters again. “Rest assured I will not say anything. I’ll pretend it was a young Lord who came to see Jongin. I apologize for interrupting, Your Highness. I shall take my leave.” He leaves the room scrambling on his feet, giving another bow before he slides the doors close.

Jongin, unbothered, takes a cup and places it in front of Kyungsoo, and pours him tea. “I apologize for Lord Oh, Your Highness. Like I told you, I do not entertain guests. He would want to see for himself who the lucky man is.” She chuckles.

“Should I leave then? Will this be trouble for you?” He asks as he watches Jongin does everything elegantly. She shakes her head, placing the teapot back on the tray.

“Of course, not.” She murmurs before taking a sip of her own tea. “I may be unworthy to be in your company, but if you’d like to stay, who am I to push you away? Though, it is unclear to me why would you search for me and come to see me.” Jongin mutters, eyes cast down, her hands busy with the tea pot and another cup.

“I came to see you,” Kyungsoo murmurs, testing his reason if it would sound right, “because I was curious. You remind me of someone.” He explains honestly.

Jongin finally looks at him with a smirk she covers with her slender fingers. “I remind you of someone.” She recites, “like I look like someone? Or is it the way I carry myself? You had to see me so you can see this person again? What is it, Your Highness?” She looks aghast, her voice almost fuming with sarcasm. Kyungsoo wonders if he offended her with the truth.

“Everything that I’ve seen from you reminds me of this person, like he’s right in front of me, but yet, he’s not you. I just wanted to see for myself. Did I offend you? If I did, I apolo-”

“Of course, not, Your Highness!” She shakes her head again. “It’s not me. I’m not offended, but the person you wish to remember, probably.” She gives him a knowing look, one that the prince has no idea what it means. “I mean, it’s sad to be remembered and be sought after just through a familiar face.” She continues.

“I’m sorry but you really look alot like this person. Your composure, the way you talk, everything is similar. One thing is clear though, he was a man, and you’re not.” Kyungsoo explains further. “I was just curious becuase it’s been awhile since I saw him, and seeing you… I felt like I was splashed with cold water. I don’t know really. Given that he’s a man, and you’re you, makes it impossible unless-”

“Unless I dressed up as a man?” She laughs, joking. “That’s absurd, Your Highness. It is against the law.” Jongin mutters, seemingly enjoying the conversation. Her shoulders have loosed and she looks comfortable, even shifting his stance as she sits with a leg folded in front, her arm resting comfortably on it -  a stance common for a gisaeng.

Kyungsoo smiles, eventually realizing how ridiculous he sounded. “He was a man, I was sure of it, and I don’t seem to affect you that much, so I deduce you’re an entirely different person.” He murmurs. “But you look alike, except for the color of your hair, and your eyes. You even dance like him. I wonder, maybe you have a brother?”

“And if I did, I have already lost to him as you obviously favor him.” She kids. “But I do not have a brother, Your Highness, unfortunately, at least one who looks exactly like me. And the time in the palace was the first time I have seen you. I hope you don’t mind I pry, Your Highness, but I am curious. Who is this man to you, then?”

Kyungsoo wonders. He’s never pondered long enough to gain answers. He was so busy with keeping himself safe and alert at all times that it was all he did in the palace - stay alive. He had no time to go back and wonder how was Kai. But then the attraction he had for the other was a blaring truth in his mind.

“I’ve never really thought about it, but he’s special.” He expresses his thoughts as they come. “It was a difficult time for me. I had to leave the palace for a ritual in the mountains. He led me through it. We succeeded. He accompanied me during my stay. We had our moments. I wasn’t sure back then what was it, but I knew I found peace in him. But as the Crown Prince, I cannot be swayed by my feelings, more so, for a man. That kind of confusion isn’t for me so I tried not to think of him, _until you_.”

Kyungsoo could have sworn seeing the woman’s eyes water when he explained the situation, but then she’s a courtesan, and that means she’s trained to look sympathetic to her guests. Kyungsoo isn’t sure what to think of her, as even if she was sincere, it’d be difficult for him to read her. Jongin ponders a bit, tracing her finger around the rim of her cup, before frowning.

“That’s quite sad, Your Highness.” She murmurs under her breath. “Don’t you feel sad for him? You intentionally forget, and yet a mere sight of me had you coming to a place where you are least expected. I would dare say you’re not confused, only in denial.”

The prince thinks she is right. “More than being sad, I’m quite perplexed. I know of the consequences, the uncertainty. I told myself it’s futile to search for you. I knew he wasn’t you, but here I am. I’m not sure myself why I’m here and what I expect to take from this meeting.”

“I infer he’s really special to you, Your Highness.” She mutters calmly. “Even if you tell you opt to forget about this man, he still affects you that much. You still long for him after months of not seeing him, and that no matter how hesitant you are about how you feel, you just want to see him. Finding me is almost a good as seeing him. I don’t understand, Your Highness, but I am glad I was of service to you.”

 

~

Loud noises of a child whining wake him up from slumber. Cold sweats cover Kyungsoo’s body, and his chest, like the previous days, feels heavy when everytime he wakes up. The Royal Physician found no illness when he was called for the other day, yet the prince feels weak all the same.

Kyungsoo hasn’t gone out of his chambers those days as the weary feeling troubles him more often than not. He had Eunuch Park report that he is unwell, that he may be laid off from his duties for a few days. Maybe it isn’t a physical ailment, Kyungsoo thinks, but rather a matter of the heart and mind. He just felt a little empty the past days.

The wailing grows louder from the outside, echoed by Eunuch Park’s calm and deep voice as well; hushed but still loud enough that it disturbs his sleep. Curious, the prince sits up from his bed and asks, “Is there someone outside?”

The bickering halts immediately, and a loud squeal follows.

“Hyungnim!” It is Sehun. “Are you awake?”

Kyungsoo assumes as much that the eunuch is blocking the young prince from entering his chambers, to prevent him from waking his older brother abruptly, but fails anyway with Sehun’s persistence. “Let him come in.” Kyungsoo commands. The doors open as Sehun, excited as the prince imagines him to be, runs to his brother’s bedside and throws himself to the other. Kyungsoo can’t help but grin at him as Sehun clutches on his shoulders, happy and relieved from the uncomfortable feeling he had just moments ago.

“Hyungnim! The King granted me a wish!” He beams, laughing.

“Is that so?” Kyungsoo mutters back, showing the boy his full interest.

“Yes he did.” Sehun replies with pride in his voice. “Master Kim reported to the king that I am doing well in my studies, and Father came to our palace this morning to see. I recited poems I learned from the Classics and he was so happy!” He basks in the memory of their father’s pride, and Kyungsoo can imagine the king smiling down at Sehun. Their father has always been loving, but always fair.

Even so, Kyungsoo is curious. “So what did you ask of him?” He asks.

“I’ll have to show you, hyungnim! Come out quick! I’ll wait for you outside!” With that he runs out, screaming in excitement. He rapidly barks orders at his brother’s attendants, to prepare the Crown Prince as fast as they can.

Kyungsoo is prepared leisurely, with his attendants all smiles because of the younger prince. Without a doubt, Sehun’s character and child-like innocence always bring joy to anyone he meets. Eunuch Park apologized to Kyungsoo for the commotion earlier while he dressed him with his royal robes, but Kyungsoo ignored it, telling his eunuch to let Sehun be if he comes again.

When he steps out of his chambers and to the morning sun, Sehun is already hand in hand with a bashful court lady, his nanny, pulling her as he spins them around and around in a dance. He is giggling while the other court ladies watching them are laughing as well. There are musicians playing in the corner, and as they notice Kyungsoo arrive, they stop to greet him. Kyungsoo has to only wave his hand for them to continue.

Sehun quickly runs to him and takes his hand to pull his elder brother to where he just stood. “What do you think?”

Confused, Kyungsoo asks what is happening and what it is all about, pointing at the musicians who are continuously playing.

“I asked Father to give me twenty days,” Sehun explains, “a day for each of the poems I recited, to be an officer in the Bureau of Music to accompany my mother. I can ask anyone to come so I can hear them play, or let dancers perform so I can watch!” He beams. Kyungsoo can imagine little Sehun with the dark red robes only officers get to wear in office. He swears Sehun would look good on it, and all grown up with it.

 

~

The young prince’s temporary appointment to the Bureau has most of the ministers in distress. Not just because of the king openly favoring him, but also due to the influx of people given permission to enter the palace for the duration of Sehun’s office. They are adamant to make the King rescind his order, but as a good father, he had to keep his word to his son. They say it’s a security risk, but rumor has it that they are just embarrassed to meet familiar courtesans within the palace walls and be recognized.

It’s another day, and Kyungsoo arrives at the Bureau to visit the Queen and Sehun for the day. She is talking with two women, who Kyungsoo doesn’t recognize, when he walks into the office. She quickly closes the book in front her, and sends the two ladies away when she noticed him. Standing up to greet, she smiles warmly.

“You’ve come, Crown Prince. Is there anything I can do for you?” She asks. Kyungsoo shakes his head as he walks closer, taking a seat in one of the chairs. She sits as well.

“I came to visit you, that’s all. I’m looking forward in seeing Sehun in his uniform.” He responds, and not for long, Sehun’s eunuch announces the young prince’s arrival.

Sehun walks in clad in a dark red robe, adorable as he mimics how a grown man walks, hands behind him, and his chin up. The Queen dotes on him, and the young prince winks at her, going back to the playful boy he is.

“How do I look, hyungnim? Do I look good in this?” Sehun asks, taking a seat across his mother, flapping his arms up and down to show him the dangling sleeves of his robes.

“Of course you do.” Kyungsoo assures him.

“Oh, by the way, Mother has allowed me to learn music and dance. My lessons begin tomorrow!” He mutters excitedly, eyes darting back and forth between his mother and brother. She suggests Kyungsoo to try to learn as well, and even before the prince even gets to decide, an ecstatic Sehun is already pulling him to the hall, where the musicians are rehearsing, announcing the search for a tutor to the Crown Prince.

Kyungsoo expected that the musicians won’t even look up to them, opting to stay out of harm’s way in involving themselves with a prince. In the palace, anything can happen. In the sea of faces cast down, only one stood out, a pair of black eyes that belongs to a woman who sits with the other dancers by the corner.

It is Jongin, eyes weary, but still, staring intently at him.

Disappointed, Sehun pouts, but regains composure as he realizes the authority his office entails. “Nobody wants the honor, it seems. Should I have the guards punish you for disobeying orders?” He shouts, taking everyone, even Kyungsoo, by surprise. The young prince clicks his tongue in frustration. He quickly turns to his mother, fuming.

The Queen quickly crouches down to meet her son’s gaze. “You have to understand the risk they have to take to do as you wish, Sehun.” She explains calmly. “They are afraid to be involved with a royal like you, more so with the Crown Prince himself. One wrong move and it may lead to their demise. You know that.”

“But mother, what could go wrong? What could go wrong in teaching hyungnim to play an instrument? Or to dance?” Sehun pouts even more.

Suddenly, a voice echoes around the room, snatching everyone’s attention. “If it would satisfy the young prince, Your Highness, I would dare teach the Crown Prince.” It is Jongin who speaks. She makes way to the front of the musicians, before bowing. “I dare not brag my experience in the field, but I am more than capable of teaching the Crown Prince.” Everyone looks at her in shock.

Kyungsoo watches as the Queen frowns and looks back at him, waiting for a response. Sehun beams a smile, obviously excited that his wish is almost granted. “She _is_ one of the best. She’s gone to a lot of foreign lands to learn, and she comes here to teach the young.” The Queen assures him.

“Very well,” Kyungsoo mutters. “I’ll do my best then. Don’t sulk, Sehun, I’ll do this for you.”

 

~

Eunuch Park’s already wide eyes grow even wider when the prince arrives to his palace with Jongin strolling behind him. An assistant of hers carries a _Gayageum_ , handing it to the eunuch when they reach the entrance to Kyungsoo’s chambers.

The court ladies immediately open the doors to let them in, with the eunuch looking bewildered at the sight of the courtesan, eyes not leaving her when he blindly places the instrument down on the floor, carefully watching as she sits by it. Kyungsoo notices the surprise in his eunuch’s eyes, understanding how he must’ve looked like when he saw Jongin the first time.

“Are you the shaman in Maisan?” He asks suddenly, eyes still glued to Jongin. He is obviously pertaining to Kai. She consciously looks at the prince, as if asking to be saved from the situation, but the eunuch insists that she answers. “That was you, right? But your hair is a different color and-”

“Eunuch Park.” Kyungsoo calls to him, interrupting him. “Please leave us.” He says for the third time before the eunuch finally moves an inch. He nods quickly at the prince and leaves the room, not before giving Jongin one last look.

No day in his life has gone as quick as this.

One moment, he is sitting there, watching and listening to the melody of her instrument; and the next she’s already bidding goodbye and taking her leave.

They share not a single word since they arrived, or at least what he can call a conversation, except for the time she says she is to play and perform instead of teaching him immediately. She plays the _Gayageum_ relentlessly, and while she rests, she writes poems and reads them to the prince.

She plays beautiful melodies, from a peace filled with sorrow to the music of feasts; one after another. Kyungsoo watches as her fingers moved with grace, mastery and technique, the room filled with the sound of her strings. Her arms and shoulders are relaxed in the music, head swaying in the melody, dancing even in the least movement she could.

It is only when Eunuch Park calls him for supper when he realizes that the day’s almost over and the sun has set. Jongin finally says she she’ll leave for the night. Kyungsoo feels regretful, but the soft smile on her lips carries a promise of return - that he will be seeing her again.

“It was an honor serving you, Your Highness.” She murmurs while bowing down. She stands up and without a second look, walks out the room, leaving Kyungsoo alone in the cold and silence of his chambers. The familiarity of her words makes Kyungsoo’s head spin, and though he has decided to look at her with new eyes, the memory of Kai on his knees still lingered where Jongin knelt.

Her presence lingers for a while.

When Kyungsoo lays to rest that night, he could still hear her music, smell the faint fragrance of rose and sandalwood still floating in the air like a butterfly, coming and fading. He knows it’s Jongin’s scent. It lulls him to sleep, and the next morning, a much stronger scent lingers and wakes him up from his sleep, with a frantic Eunuch Park almost screaming for him to wake up and get ready as soon as possible, as the King and the Queen have come to visit and are already waiting for him.

 

~

“I cannot stand this, son.” Lady Do whispers in a calm and composed voice, yet her face shows otherwise. No amount of years of practicing a facade of a timid and poised Royalty can hide the struggle her eyes are expressing unconsciously.

“Sooyoung, calm down.” The King commands, gently tapping on her hand as she sighs in disappointment. Kyungsoo’s mother nods her head once before looking at her son with worry. The prince knows what it entails, and yet he cannot bear to comfort his mother at this time. He’s still unsure of what he’s done to warrant a visit not just from his mother, but the King as well.

Kyungsoo, still intimidated by the joint presence of the most powerful man in the land and his mother, continues to hang his head low, staring at the intricate patterns on the table in front him, unsure how he should address the issue his mother is currently worrying about.

“Crown Prince,” the King mutters sternly, right hand in a tight fist over the table, “Is it true that you invited a courtesan in your palace?” He looks rather calm, a direct contrast to his consort’s hostile expression. She’s already panting, with great effort resisting to speak without the King’s permission. Her lips quiver, and Kyungsoo can already hear the words that would come out of her mouth once given the signal to speak. He can’t expect the best.

Knowing that there’s no reason to lie, he replies, “Yes, Your Majesty, it is true.” The King nods at him and then to the Kyungsoo’s mother.

“Explain this to us.” He mutters.

“I wanted to learn,” is all Kyungsoo said. He knows it would be best for Sehun not to be blamed for the questionable act. Studying music for the prince poses no harm, but a woman, a courtesan teaching the prince would create rumors alarming enough that his parents would come as soon as they can. It hasn’t even been a day and the rumors have already reached them. “You have nothing to worry about, Your Majesty. I wanted to try learning the arts, especially after the ritual in the temple in Maisan. I was fascinated, and the woman who will be teaching me, from what I heard, is the best in the land. I apologize for worrying you, especially you, Mother.”

“You’re telling me I shouldn’t be concerned?” The King asks.

Kyungsoo releases a sigh of relief. “Yes, Father, you need not worry.”

“I have told your mother that, but I’m glad to hear it directly from you. I trust you’ll do well.” The King finally smiles, nodding once before standing up. The mother and son stand up as well, bowing and watching as the King takes his leave. When the doors closed, Kyungsoo’s mother quickly sits where the king just sat.

“I swear, Kyungsoo, I can’t believe you would be as reckless as this!” Slowly, the words she’s been keeping come spilling endlessly. “Why not call the best musician in the Bureau? Why should it be a courtesan? Don’t you realize how mad the resident court musicians will be once they knew a woman is teaching you instead? Why would you bring her here in your chambers as if no one will speak of it against you? Why are you even in the Bureau? I told you not to affiliate yourself with the young Prince! What if-”

“I told you not to worry, Mother.” Kyungsoo interrupts her. He knows it will always be about the crown. “I am sorry if this worries you, but I promise you that this is nothing. “ He reiterates, “I’m studying, that’s all. What can rumors do if the truth can be openly observed? I have been doing well. I’ve aced all my lectures. I just wanted to learn something new instead of reading the same books over and over again. I have no office yet. I just gained the people’s trust after the rain.”

She purses her lips as she listens, but she’s not taking the risk unless she’s sure this will bring no harm to her beloved son. “Oh, Kyungsoo,” she whimpers, “I only want to protect you.”

“I know.” Kyungsoo agrees. “I know that, but I promise you, Jongin brings no harm.” Lady Do’s eyes light up, as if she realized something, but quickly shrugs it off before Kyungsoo notices. “If you want, I can meet her outside, in the garden, or anywhere in the palace where everyone can see what we are doing. I’m studying. That’s all there is.”

His mother finally nods, assured for now. “Fine, Kyungsoo. I trust you. Keeping a crown is nothing to me, but keeping you safe is what I’ll always concern myself with. Please promise me I’ll only hear good things from now on.”

“What is the matter, anyway? I don’t think Jongin coming here would concern you this much. What did you hear yesterday, Mother?” Kyungsoo asks, finding a hint of trouble in her eyes.

“It’s nothing.” She murmurs, yet Kyungsoo insists she answers. For a moment she sits there in silence contemplating, before uttering an explanation. “Rumors went around a few days back about you being seen in a gisaeng house. I ignored it. The Queen may have favored you and has been kind to you, but Kyungsoo, no one is a friend of the Crown. Prince Sehun may be as innocent as his age, but the family behind him is not. He is the Queen’s son. Anyone can use anything against you. He just gained your Father’s favor and he is enjoying his reward, and here you are, rumored to be smitten with a courtesan who lived her life mostly in a foreign land. You met her outside the palace, and now you invite her into your own chambers. There were rumors you wanted to meet her privately the first time you saw her.”

The prince chuckles at the thought. It is surprising how twisted the rumor that has gone around. Indeed, with every move he makes, someone is waiting for him to make a mistake. Though, part of the rumors were actually true, he still is having doubts on himself being smitten with Jongin. Confused and curious, yes, given the similarity between her and Kai who stirred up a somewhat unknown feeling in his chest back then. If there’s anything his mother should be worried about, it’s not Jongin - Kai, maybe.

“That’s a hilarious string of stories, Mother.” He laughs, trying to lighten up the mood, easing his mother’s dilemma. “They are rumors after all.” He reaches to take her mother’s hand. “I promise to be careful, I am doing this for myself and Sehun, because I promised him I’ll do my best to learn. I love my brother regardless. I think it’s the musicians and the court ladies whispering around, probably bored watching me for being the ever quiet and idle Crown Prince. They must find it fun that I’m human after all.”

“This is nothing to joke about, Kyungsoo!” She exclaims. “I didn’t sacrifice so much for you to throw away everything like this. Think before you act, son.”

“I am not throwing anything away.” Kyungsoo grunts. “Just look past this, Mother. Just think of it as if I’m preparing a gift for you and Father on my birthday. At the banquet, I will play for you, and I have to learn how to.”

She takes a deep breath, and finally, slowly, worry fades away from her features. “I trust you, Kyungsoo.”

Suddenly, Eunuch Park’s voice echoes from the outside, announcing Jongin’s arrival. His mother’s expression becomes stoic in a blink of an eye, ready with poise and elegance, one that she carries most of time in the front of her subjects.

Kyungsoo didn’t expect to have Jongin escorted into the chambers, but what surprises him more is how both women mirror each other’s expression when their eyes meet. Both are equally surprised to see the other; Jongin probably realizing that this is the famed Lady Do, Royal Consort to the king, and for his mother’s, Kyungsoo doesn’t know why.

Jongin falls down to her knees immediately and bows her head. “Your Highness.” She greets.

Lady Do eyes her from where she sits, before speaking. “So it’s you everyone is talking about.” She murmurs. “Teach him well.”

 

~

Kyungsoo cannot pinpoint what is off with Jongin that morning. After the ordeal with Kyungsoo’s mother, Jongin seems to be quiet and spacing out every once in awhile. She’s been silent since Lady Do left them, and though Kyungsoo tried to initiate a conversation, Jongin looks like she has a lot on her mind.

The prince can’t help but be curious. For the few times he’s seen Jongin, he knows she’s a master of carrying herself with wit and grace, but then, this is different. He worries that she’s sick, or that something is troubling her mind.

Jongin on the other hand, carries on with her music. She plays a rather solemn tune, one that mirrors the thoughts she’s dwelling in. She remembers Lady Do’s face from her past, but she cannot dwell on it for long, knowing that the prince is with her, watching her. The memory of the cold, heavy rain falling onto her and Lady Do eleven years ago is still fresh in her mind. That’s all she remembers with her face yet it troubles her too much. She doesn’t expect to see her after all those years, all the more find her as part of the royal family. Lady Do’s expression hinted that she might remember her, but the circumstances back then was different and seeing a familiar face may have had Lady Do confused.

Jongin tries to concentrate, focusing on the fingers plucking each string, until Kyungsoo suddenly holds her hand to stop her. He retracts his hand immediately upon seeing the surprised look on Jongin’s face. When she looks at him, she finds worry etched on his face.

“Are you alright?” Kyungsoo asks.

Jongin looks at him with weary eyes, yet she nods in response. “I am fine, Your Highness. It’s not everyday I meet another member of the Royal family.” She mutters, a shy smile appearing on her lips. Kyungsoo remembers the first time they met. He wonders if she ever felt that way with him, or with the Queen, because he remembers her refined and well-statured. Kyungsoo wonders if she really is fine.

“Are you sure?” He asks again. Again, she nods before continuing to play the instrument before her.

The afternoon goes by in silence between them, the room is filled with only the music the _Gayageum_ makes as Jongin plays it masterfully. Jongin would look at Kyungsoo from time to time, and catches him staring at her hands. He’s trying to familiarize himself with how she plays, so that when the time comes she’s to teach her, he’s picked up a few points already.

When Eunuch Park comes in to bring the prince his lunch, Jongin excuses herself, asking if Kyungsoo would allow her to cut their lesson short, even if there’s no lesson to begin with, and let her leave the palace early. She’s promised to prepare the textbooks and the materials the prince would need to formally begin his studies. She leaves once Kyungsoo allows her to, and the prince is once again left behind.

Kyungsoo, finding a hint of the uneasiness she carried in the morning when she bid him goodbye, grows weary, unconsciously, for her. Eunuch Park tries to discourage him, but follows his orders nonetheless. Kyungsoo asks him to have one of his guards to follow Jongin until she’s safely arrived wherever she’s going. _It’s my way of saying thanks,_ Kyungsoo reminds himself.

The next morning, Jongin doesn’t come. The eunuch hands him a letter from Jongin, apologizing for her absence that day.

 _“Your Highness, I am not able to come today because of certain matters, and I wish to fully ready myself with the responsibility of teaching you. I have duties to fulfill for today’s festival and I’d like to give my utmost heart to the women I’m teaching. As promised, I will guide you until you can play music, too. Please meet me tomorrow afternoon at Yongje Bridge as I have something to give you. After then, I will teach you my art. Signed, Jongin”_ It reads.

 

~

Evening has just fallen over the city, and the market is still abuzz with a roaring crowd, celebrating the end of the drought from months ago. The citizens are so grateful that they pledge to celebrate the rain, and thank the heavens on the eighth day of each month, in honour of the eight straight nights of rain the heavens generously gave to the land while Kyungsoo was in the temple in Maisan.

The streets are filled with men and women alike, children playing with paper lanterns, some selling them to the nobles passing by. Houses are lit up and are opened to guests, with feasts prepared on their tables. Those families who are in the lower status in life, those who go through everyday with barely nothing, opt to celebrate together by the plaza, where they gather to sing and dance. Some children play with paper boats and let them be carried away by the water in streams.

There are also performers in the streets, jugglers and tightrope walkers, entertaining the onlookers who are clapping happily in rhythm to the drums played for the performance.

Kyungsoo hands one of them a few silvers before he goes his way to walk around the market. He just can’t help but celebrate with the people on the special event that changed his life. Thanks to the rain, the city became alive again. It’s been so long since the last time. He wanders for a while, greeting happy mothers with their children, talking with men who are drinking in a local inn, laughing at their silly stories. Kyungsoo enjoys the experience being a commoner, specially among his people.

Somehow, he finds himself in a familiar place, the gisaeng house where Jongin stays, as children told him on the way there’s a special performance from the ladies of the house. It is uncommon, yet with Jongin being there, Kyungsoo assumes it must be her doing. He’s heard some scholars arguing about it, that the house should’ve offered women and wine, but instead they prepare one night of music and dance for their clients.

When he reaches the entrance, a young man welcomes him and escorts him inside, showing him an empty spot where he can sit among the crowd. A stage was set-up in the front, and there are already women walking back and forth across it, probably making last minute preparation before the performance begins.

“A good evening to you.” The young man seated beside him speaks. “I am Junmyeon and this,” he points to the man beside him, “is my younger brother, Jongdae.”

Kyungsoo smiles back at them. “Hello. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kyungsoo.” He greets the two.

“Ah, hyung,” Jongdae speaks, “why don’t we just go in to find her?” Junmyeon shrugs at him.

“We’re to see the performance, remember? She told us not to come when she’s about to perform.” He mutters back, and then looks at Kyungsoo. “We’ve come a long way from the south and my brother here is dying to meet a relative of ours. She’s dancing tonight. Are you a frequent customer? You might know her.”

“No, I’m not.” Kyungsoo explains. “But I came here to see a friend. I didn’t know they are preparing a performance.”

“I’m sure you’ll love her.” Junmyeon murmurs. “She’s the best among any artist in the land.” _The best in the land,_ Kyungsoo thinks. _Could it be..._

“Ah, hyung! It’s starting!” Jongdae exclaims. Junmyeon and Kyungsoo instantly look at the stage, and there are already musicians seated at the far left. They begin to play, and the show begins.

First to perform is a group of ladies, five of them, dancing to a fun tune. The crowd is happily clapping in rhythm to the beat, swaying as they enjoy the performance, mirroring the dancers’ smiles. The next to perform is another set of dancers, about eight of them, dancing with only the percussions playing. They wear red and black hanboks, swords in hand. There are a few more performances Kyungsoo isn’t familiar with, but he enjoys watching them nonetheless. Junmyeon seems to enjoy the performances as well, as he can’t stop telling Kyungsoo how amazed he is with the dancers’ skills.

Suddenly, Jongdae screams again, “Hyung! There she is!”

A loud drum begins to play, echoing Kyungsoo’s heartbeat. He just knows that it’s time for the penultimate performance, the best of the night, the special one. Another hit of the drum echoes.

A woman walks up the stage, clad in a black ensemble, brown braided hair cascading down to her shoulders decorated by colorful flowers. It’s too familiar. Even with the thin cloth covering half of her face, Kyungsoo recognizes Jongin.

Three men walk up behind her with a _Gayageum_ , a _haegum,_ and _daegum,_ one instrument for each. They sit behind her and Jongin waits for their song to begin.

The musician begins plucking the strings, setting a pace, and Jongin begins to sway in the music. The other instruments follow, creating a sorrowful tune, and Kyungsoo remembers it as the same song Jongin played to him the day before.

She begins to dance a familiar routine, a step to the left and then the right, before extending her arms to her sides and raising them to the air, hands poised. With a flick of a wrist, she turns, bending her knees and then standing straight on her toes. Once again, she raises both her arms and down, like she’s flying, before bending down to bow.

Each movement becomes one with the next, as she struts lightly across the stage, as if she floats in the air. She becomes one with the music, and Kyungsoo watches in awe. He’s never seen such grace. _No, he already did. Once._ He can’t help but see a familiar figure in the woman dancing on the stage.

“She’s really good, isn’t she? Her sorrow has become her beauty.” Junmyeon sighs. Kyungsoo assumes that Jongin is the friend he’s come to Hanyang for.

“She is. She’s wonderful.” He replies. “So you know her?”

“Of course. She’s my father’s adoptive daughter. He adopted her eleven years ago. She left for the city a few weeks back. She always leaves when it rains.” Junmyeon explains, eyes not leaving Jongin.

“And where are you from, you say?” Kyungsoo’s interest is piqued.

“From a town in Maisan.”

_Maisan._

 

Junmyeon and his brother bid goodbye to the prince, albeit not knowing who he actually is, and go to the main building, to find Jongin. They leave Kyungsoo perplexed of the fact that they are from a town near the mountain where he met _Kai_.

 _It should be pure coincidence._ Kyungsoo thinks.

He makes his way out of the gisaeng house, assuming his presence isn’t what Jongin would need, now that her brothers are there to visit. If not for the news going around about the special performances the house prepared, he wouldn’t be there anyway. But he cannot lie, he enjoyed the performance, despite of the persistent memory that’s bugging him since he met Jongin.

He walks along the dispersing crowd, going with the flow of the people making their way as well back to the busy streets of the city, to continue with their celebrations.

Among the crowd, someone suddenly grabs the sleeve of Kyungsoo robe, making him turn around instantly. People continue to walk around him, passing him with confused looks as to why he would suddenly stop in the middle of a moving crowd, or rather, their attention is on the woman who stopped him. Jongin stands there, eyes meeting Kyungsoo’s.

“You came?” She asks, panting a little from the rush. She still has her makeup and her beautiful hanbok on, the one she wore for her performance. Those who recognized her, greet her quick, praising her skill and dance as they pass by her.

She shyly nods in thanks before taking Kyungsoo’s hand and pulling him out of the crowd, out of prying eyes. She lets go of his hand once they are out of people’s way, taking a step back as she notices the proximity.

“I’m sorry! I had to pull you out of the way.” She giggles.

“It’s fine.” Kyungsoo responds with a smile on his face.

“My brothers came to see me, and they told me about a handsome young man they met in the audience. Given the features they described, I assumed it was you.” She explains, “So I went out quickly to find out.”

“And here I am.” He nods. “They are fine young men, your brothers. Junmyeon seems to be very fond of you.”

“We’re close. He’s the closest to a family I’ll ever have.” She murmurs. “Anyway, they’re staying for a while, come drink with us?” Kyungsoo sees a playful spark in her eyes. “If you’re up for it, Your Highness.” She teases.

“I suppose I can’t reject the offer.” He chuckles. “I might skip my lessons tomorrow if I drink too much, though? Do you think that’ll be okay with my teacher?”

“I guess she’ll be very understanding. You’re the Crown Prince after all, you can do whatever you want.” She replied jokingly.

“Yeah, I guess so. Let’s go? Let’s not keep your brothers waiting.”

 

From the many things Kyungsoo can do well, holding his liquor well is one he can be very proud of. He’s won against his elder brother Seungsoo back in the day, and even against the King. Tonight he’s up for another challenge, as wine doesn’t seem to affect Jongin at all.

After mumbling about the most useless things in their drunken state, Junmyeon and Jongdae have long passed out, leaving the two with the last bottle.

“Your Highness, I didn’t expect you to last this long.” Jongin chuckles, with a hint of blush creeping on her cheeks. She might be a little drunk already, _maybe._

“I’m not easily drunk.” The other explains. “But tomorrow should be worse.” Kyungsoo notices the changes in her. She looks tired and sad, taking a cup of wine and swiftly drinking it.

“I should be going.” He says. He’s sure Jongin wants to take a rest as well from her long day.

“Of course. You shouldn’t be out this late. Thank you for coming. I bet my brothers will be shocked when I tell them they were out here drinking with the Crown Prince.” She mumbles. Her eyes flutter slowly, feeling the exhaustion creeping in.

“I supposed so.” Kyungsoo replies. “Well then, thank you for having me. It’s been wonderful, and your brothers are fun.”

“I’ll tell them that.”

Both stand up at the same time, to bid their goodbye. Jongin escorts him out ot the place, and watches as he walks down the street back to the palace, until he’s out of her sight.

_“I’m almost there, Mother. It will not be long until I know what happened to you. Until then, please guide me.”_

 

~

Kyungsoo hurries to the palace gates, afraid that Jongin might have left already. He’s late, about an hour or so, from the time he was supposed to meet Jongin. Of course, they did assume that the day after last night’s drinking would be difficult, but Kyungsoo, for anything, doesn’t want to miss a day out _with her._ He’s been telling himself it’s for his lessons, or rather to spend a day out of the palace. If he’s only honest with himself, he’d know it would be because of her.

Unknowingly, after seeing her a few times, Kyungsoo becomes fond of her. He always wants to feel normal and common, and somehow, Jongin makes him feel like such. Similarities aside, Jongin gives him that peace, from the time she spent to play music for him in his palace, to last night when she danced, and to the quick drink they had with her brothers. She’s beginning to grow on Kyungsoo, although he’s unaware of it.

He pants as he runs out the gates, finally reaching the bridge where he’s supposed to meet her. There he finds Jongin, clad in a red skirt, sleeves striped in pastel colors. She looks young in her braided hair, looking down to the stream running below.

The wind starts to pick up, leaves fly to dance in the air with it and their robes flutter against it.

“It’s going to be a good day, Mother. I want it to be a good day.” She mumbles softly, but loud enough for the prince to hear. “And I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Did you wait too long?” Kyungsoo mutters, trying to catch his breath.

Jongin looks at him with a smile. “Not at all.”

Maybe it’s because of running that he’s out of breath. Maybe it’s because of Jongin smiling at him. Kyungsoo doesn’t know.

 

It’s a beautiful day in the city of Hanyang. The market is busy, as usual. Children run through the streets, laughing and shouting. Walking through it reminds Kyungsoo of the time Kai took him to the town in Maisan, but now, things feel different with Jongin in front him, leading the way.

 _I should stop thinking about him._ He always reminds himself.

“Are you alright there, Your H-”

“Shh!” He quickly responded, a finger over his lips. They’re in the middle of the street with a busy crowd, and announcing who he is in the middle of it doesn’t seem like a good idea.

Jongin catches up fast, giggling as she nods and bites her lips. “Right. It’ll be chaos if they know who you are. _Kyungsoo_ then?” She teases. “Or are you going to kill me for that?”

Kyungsoo nods anyway. “As long as no one else hears.”

“Of course.” She smiles before continuing her walk.

She leads him through the busy street, and they finally arrive in a local store, one that Kyungsoo has never seen before. Jongin walks through the curtain that serves as the entrance, and Kyungsoo follows in.

“My Lady, you’ve come.” An old man greets Jongin. Kyungsoo notices his familiarity with Jongin. She seems to be a frequent customer. The place is filled with wood and strings, on the wall hang numerous instruments, displayed for visitors to see. “Welcome, my Lord.” He then greets the prince.

“He’s studying music and I brought him here so he could choose an instrument.” She explains. “I trust your craftsmanship the most, Master Im.”

“I’m honored, my Lady. Please help yourself, I’ll bring you the best of my products.” He bows at her, then looks at Kyungsoo. “Is there any specific instrument you’d like to try?”

“Strings should be good.” Jongin murmurs before Kyungsoo can reply.

“I see. Please wait for me upstairs, then. Enjoy the beautiful weather.” He mutters. Jongin leads the prince up the stairs, revealing a rather small open area, overlooking the busy streets. It is cold up there thanks to the breeze, and though it is open, it is relatively quiet even if the building stands in the middle of a roaring market.

Kyungsoo walks to the edge and puts his hand over the wooden railing, enjoying the view. He’s never seen the city from this high, and it’s beautiful.

“Do you like it?” Jongin asks beside him. “I always come to this place to play when I’m in the city.”

“It’s beautiful.” Kyungsoo replies. “I can see the palace gates from here.”

“You can see and hear a lot of things from here.” She explains. “I’m always at peace when I come here.”

“It’s always nice to have a place you can come to when you need it, peace.” Kyungsoo mumbles. “In the palace, I can’t even sleep well that much. You don’t know when something bad will happen. Life is fickle in the palace.”

“I understand that very well.” She replies. Kyungsoo finds a hint of sadness in her eyes. “The palace took my mother away.”

The mention of Jongin’s mother reminds him of the early morning when he saw her at the bridge. She talked to her mother in a subtle prayer. Curious and hopeful, Kyungsoo asks.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know, but I’m here in Hanyang to discover the truth of my mother’s death. At least I should know why I’m cu-” She stops suddenly, looking elsewhere. “why I am what I am. If not for Junmyeon’s kind father, I don’t know how I’ll survive.”

He notices the tears threatening to fall from down from her eyes, and Kyungsoo, for the first time, realizes how vulnerable Jongin is, despite the grace she’s carried herself with. Unconsciously, he reaches for her, his finger catching the first drop of her tears, wiping it gently.

“You said the palace took your mother away. If you want to talk about it, I’m willing to listen, but if it hurts you too much, there’s always another time.”

Jongin sighs in disbelief. “Is there really another time with you, Your Highness?”

“ _Kyungsoo._ ” He corrects. “I think we have decided on that earlier? And yes, there should be another time. You have a lot to teach me.” He smiles, trying to lighten up the mood. Jongin smiles as well.

“I guess you’re right.” She sniffs, wiping another tear that rolls down her cheek.

“You confuse me.” Kyungsoo suddenly mutters without a thought, taking a deep breath.

“I always confuse you, don’t I?” She teases. “Do I still remind you of him?”

Kyungsoo sighs. Seeing her in tears, hearing her sorrow and her story, he can’t help but feel sad for her. His heart feels heavy seeing the wishful look in her expression. He realizes that Jongin is no ordinary woman. She has a story to tell, and Kyungsoo is curious. Nevertheless, he doesn’t want her sad.

“No, that’s behind us, though it still bugs me when you dance.” He chuckles. _That_ he can’t let go. - the similarity. “But what confuses me now is you, your personality. Sometimes you act like you own the world. You hold your chin up and walk as if the land worships you. You’re the head of the gisaengs, but you’re an entirely different woman compared to them. But sometimes,” he thinks to tohimself for a moment before continuing, “you’re a young lady of a noble house, poised and timid, shy and quiet, as if you’re the most precious thing in the world. I want to protect you but I’m sure you can hold your own.” He explains. “Something like that.”

Jongin blushes at the prince’s remark. “Which is the real me, if you would dare assume?”

Kyungsoo takes a moment to reflect. He’s seen Jongin only a few times, yet feels a familiarity with her, being Kai’s look-a-like or not. “This is the real you.” He decides. “The lady who cries over missing her mother, the sister who loves her brothers, that’s you.”

Jongin nods. “I’m a person of many personalities, _Kyungsoo._ Some sides of me will truly surprise you.”

 _And I’d like to know and understand them all._ Kyungsoo wants to say.

“My Lady, my Lord,” Master Im’s voice interrupts his thoughts. “Here are the instruments.” A few helpers come from behind Master Im, carrying varying instruments for the two to try. They set each instrument on the floor, with another helper placing cushions, inviting the two to sit. The elder excuses himself, leaving Jongin and Kyungsoo alone once again.

She glides delicate fingers over the wood, and then the strings. She plucks on each string to try before taking another instrument, doing the same. Kyungsoo watches intently, patiently waiting for her, expecting to be able to finally hold an instrument of his own, too.

Seeing the excitement in the other’s eyes, Jongin hands him one, a _Gayageum_ , knowing he’s already familiar with it. The instrument is long and heavy, strings thick.

“This is my favorite. It’s creates the melody of a piece. It’s the foundation of any music we’ve ever done, except for the drums, of course.” She explains. “Would you like to try?” She suggests. Kyungsoo nods.

She moves to his side, putting the instrument properly on his lap. Kyungsoo places his hand over the strings, and gives one a gentle pull, testing the strings.

“You have to pull the string hard and release it quickly.” She mutters. Kyungsoo tries, and somehow a decent sound is made. “That’s it. Now-” She reaches to the prince’s other hand and places it on the other end of the instrument. She presses down his finger on one string while she plucks on the other end of it.

She continues teaching her like this, moving his hand to where it should be, and letting him feel and hear the sound he makes for each. Every pattern she teaches, he tries to memorize, and somehow, after a few hours like this, he’s learned a few.

“It will bruise your fingers, but you will get used to it.” She explains as Kyungsoo is already feeling a hint of pain in the ends of his fingers, already red while one of his fingers is already swollen. “I should get some ointment for your fingers.” She realizes. She quickly stands up, only for Kyungsoo to hold onto her wrist, stopping her.

“I’m fine. I’ll have the royal physician check them later.” He murmurs. “Just stay.”

“As you wish.” Jongin mutters, once again settling down in her seat. “You should stop now. We can continue the lesson in three days.”

It takes Kyungsoo by surprise. “Three days?”

“You have to let your hands heal, but don’t worry, I’ll have books ready for you to study. It will be the first piece that you should be able to play. I’ll also prepare a model for you, so you can still practice, even without strings.”

“Thank you.”

 

The meetings don’t stop, though. Everyday, Jongin comes to the palace to visit and plays for the prince though they promised to meet in three days time instead.

Jongin comes the next morning, offering to teach the prince even if she herself decided to give Kyungsoo’s hands a time to rest and heal. Gone are the books she gave her as homework. She teaches all them instead, one on one.

And the prince couldn’t be any happier.

Somehow, he thinks Jongin understands how she makes him feel. He is not one to assume a label for his feelings, always unsure of what his heart tells him; yet he can’t deny the effect of Jongin’s presence on him as if she’s plucking even the strings of his heart at her whim.

For now, she lets her be the peace he’s always been after, a sanctuary the palace will never offer. He’d bask in every moment spent with her, no matter how mundane it is.

They continue the lessons even days after, maintaining a comfortable silence between them, letting the music, albeit the prince’s lack of skills, be the only conversation between them – as if every song, every note means something. Kyungsoo never asked her again about her mother. He knows Jongin will tell him once she trusts her fully.

About a week into their lessons, Jongin comes into his palace with a bowed instrument in hand, persistent and hopeful that he’s ready to play with her a short piece.

She lets him play the rehearsed piece, the one she’s teaching the whole week, and slowly, Kyungsoo paces himself to play, one string at a time, remembering how she would play it, focusing on recreating the same melody she made. He still misses a few strings, even playing out of beat, but Jongin watches him like a mother would at a child who’s beginning to walk. Her eyes show so much care and love for her art, and maybe, just maybe for Kyungsoo, for trying to play her favorite instrument, and a piece very dear to her.

Once Kyungsoo is playing the notes consistently, Jongin decides to join in, playing her _haegum_ , the bow on her right hand making music against the strings. She plays the same piece, and with the music they make, Kyungsoo knows there is much more than just this for them.

Maybe it’s not the face or the familiarity that draws him to her, maybe it’s her and the myriad of personalities that surprises him every time she shows up. Kyungsoo likes that about her.

And since then, maybe it’s the blossoming love that’s unknowingly budding in his chest that’s making him look forward to waking up everyday, or it’s the weather being beautiful whenever she’s around. Nonetheless, keeping her company is truly, one of the things he’s always happy about.

 

~

The breeze is beginning to grow colder in the city, and people are opting to wear much thicker clothes than usual. It is yet another bizarre occurrence that the leaves in the trees begin to change colors. It’s been years since this happened, and believers are already questioning the heavens as if this is a sign of its will.

The people assume that it’s a good sign, the weather is not so hot anymore, making work in the fields easier. The forests look beautiful and the city is often decorated by leaves dancing with the wind.

Jongin and Kyungsoo decide to walk out to the city that afternoon, as the day is just too wonderful to miss it by staying indoors. And despite his Eunuch’s protests to stop him from leaving the palace, Kyungsoo steps out the gates clad in a scholar’s uniform, disguised yet again as a young noble, with Jongin following closely behind.

It is peculiar to him that they’re wearing robes with similar shades of blue, yet the thought of matching clothes with her seems… cute.

They walk along the market, greeting some merchants while looking at their stalls. Jongin tries a few accessories, but clearly isn’t interested on buying anything. They continue walking in silence, except for the occasional “Isn’t this pretty?” and Kyungsoo answers yes every time she puts anything on.

But then, Hanyang is not all good things. On their way to meet Jongin’s brothers in the inn they are staying at, Kyungsoo sees a rather different side of the bustling city.

He sees a face of the glorious kingdom his father rules, one that’s very different, and very, very pitiful. He sees children begging for food, fathers carrying sick children on their backs. They sit in the streets, in the corners of someone else’s walls, barely living for the day.

“ _Kyungsoo,_ are you alright?” Jongin inquires as the prince stops to stare, shocked with the discovery.

“I’ve lived all my life in wealth and with people serving me, slating me to be the next king, yet the people I’m supposed to rule over are dying in the streets in hunger. I thought the drought is over.” He whispers. Jongin holds onto his arm, pulling him gently away, continuing their walk.

“You should know that it’s never going to be fair for everyone. In the many lives I’ve seen, there’s always more to see, better or worse than what we have. It’s not just the drought, it’s the people themselves who make their paths in life.” She explains. “Even if the land flourishes because of the rain, some will never have food because it’s just the way it is.”

“But someone has to help them.” Kyungsoo infers. “There should be an office that caters to them.”

“There is, and it’s at the end of this street. That’s why you see a lot of them here.”

“Can we go there? I just want to look.”

 

Kyungsoo, for the innumerable time in his life, felt undeserving. He sees the countless families living off from what the government can give them, and it’s just not enough.

They arrive in the office, welcomed by some guards and the officer-in-charge. Kyungsoo introduces himself as the Prince, and officer instantly gives the two a tour around the place, despite protesting against Kyungsoo that he shouldn’t be there.

The officer tells them that the ration for the poor is never enough, but recovering from the drought isn’t that easy, while the families needing them are growing by the hour.

They reach another building, It is said to be a clinic that offers medical assistance to those who cannot afford a good physician. Even medicines are freely given to those in need. They give as much as they can.

When they reach back to the front, there are already a few families gathering, waiting for the next ration, lining up early to make sure they get enough for their children.

“Sir,” a young girl walks to them, her face is dirty and her hair, unruly. “Did you come to give us more food?” She asks excitedly.

Kyungsoo crouches down to sit on his hind legs. He pats on her head, smiling back at her. “I’ll come back and bring you more food. What’s your name?” He asks.

“It’s Sooyoung.”

“You have the same name as my mother,” He tells the girl. “And you’re as beautiful as her.”

Sunyoung giggles and says ‘thank you’ before running back to her family. It warms Kyungsoo’s heart to see such joy from a young child. If only he could do anything for them.

When they are about leave, little Sunyoung once again runs to them, giving Jongin a flower as she says goodbye.

“The lady is lucky to find such a noble man. My father says you look good together and wishes you two happiness.” She says.

Jongin thanks her as she takes the flower. “Thank you, Sooyoung. When you grow up, do something great and change your life, alright?”

The young girl nods and skips back to her family.

Kyungsoo, watching the exchange, sees yet another side of her.

 

~

The palace seems to be very suffocating, of all days. Kyungsoo wakes up with a pain in his chest, making breathing difficult. He feels cold and exhausted, and his muscles ache for some reason.

“Eunuch Park.” He calls, noticing how hoarse his voice sounds. “Get me some water.”

The eunuch responds from the outside, and hurries to oblige. It’s only the crack of dawn, he notices. His room is still dark but the outside, the sky should be lightening up by the minute.

Not one moment after, his eunuch comes in with a tray in, with a cup of water, placing it down by Kyungsoo’s side. He looks at him in the darkness, and Eunuch Park notices something is off. Kyungsoo tries to sit up, but his body feels too heavy to move.

“Are you alright?” The eunuch asks, placing a hand over Kyungsoo’s forehead. “You might have a fever. I’ll call the royal physician quickly.”

“No!” Kyungsoo grunts. “I just need water. Help me up.” And the Eunuch does, pulling him gently to sit. He gives him the cup, and helps Kyungsoo drink it.

“Thank you. Let me sleep more.”

 

He feels somehow rested even if a little dizzy the morning the same day after sleeping it off. Eunuch Park tells him that he should let a physician check him, so they can prepare medicines for him. Stubborn Kyungsoo doesn’t want to.

Instead, he sits in the pavilion near his palace, clad in his royal robes, sitting with the _Gayageum_ resting on his knee. He practices alone the piece he’s supposed to master, feeling a bit more comfortable that the sound of the strings is echoing well where he is. He’s learned so much from Jongin.

Speaking of which, Jongin arrives discreetly, listening and watching an unaware Kyungsoo, who is so focused on the instrument in hand.

With light steps she approaches him and sits a little by his side, as not distract him. Yet, Kyungsoo is _always_ conscious of her. He knows she’s been there all along, watching. He stops playing and looks at her.

“I was sure I didn’t make a sound.” Jongin chortles, making Kyungsoo laugh as well.

“The air feels different when you’re around. I know when you’re close.” He teases.

“That’s a very bad line to use in winning a woman’s heart, Your Highness. That doesn’t work for me.” She chuckles again, this time with an obvious blush on her cheeks.

“You seem to like it, though? You’re turning red.” He mutters. “And I’m telling an honest observation. When I’m with you, the air feels nice and is fragrant, the breeze is cold, the trees are always dancing. Everything looks beautiful with you.” He says as he points to the trees just outside the pavilion. “Look, their colors have changed, too. The color of some leaves are almost the same as your hair.”

Jongin smiles as she looks ahead, at the trees the prince is pointing at. “I come to Hanyang when it’s going to be this beautiful.”

“You sound like you don’t stay here. Do you have plans of going back?” He asks, confused by her reply.

“Growing up, I’ve been to different places, even to foreign lands to master my craft and learn about the world. When the sky changes, I leave.” She explains.

Kyungsoo remembers Junmyeon’s words about her always leaving when it rains. “Why?”

“Because I have to - _I need to_. It helps me cope from the loss. This time, I came to the capital to finally search for answers, to find out what happened to my mother. But don’t worry, the heavens are still very pleased. It seems like I’m not going away soon. I also have a duty to fulfill on the Crown Prince’s birthday.” She smirks.

“So you’re staying for me?” Kyungsoo inquires, mixed feelings already bubbling in his chest, the dull pain once again coming back, his chest tightens by the second.

“Well, you have a way of twisting my words, but yes, I think I’m staying for you.”

Suddenly, the wind picks up and blows the trees bare, its colorful leaves dance in the air before falling lifeless to the ground below.

_They have fallen._

And Kyungsoo does, too, suddenly, shocking Jongin by the loud thud. “Your Highness!” She panics. She calls for Eunuch Park immediately, and he’s taken back to his chambers, a frantic group of doctors and nurses coming in and out of the prince’s palace.

The palace is thrown into a whirl of chaos, and Kyungsoo, the Crown Prince himself, is at the center of it.

 

~

He dreams.

Kyungsoo finds himself in his mother’s palace, the one where he used to stay in back when his brother was still the Crown Prince. He’s his eleven year old self, sitting on the edge of the stairs outside, barely covered by the roof from the rain that’s pouring immensely. His little hands reach for the water pouring from the edge of the roof, feeling how cold it is.

He’s waiting for his mother to come back, after rushing out when a court lady came to wake her up in the middle of the night. Kyungsoo knows that these kinds of instances mean something is not right. He waits and waits, yet his mother is still not back.

He feels his heart grow heavy as worry clouds his mind. _What could’ve happened?_ He asks himself. At his age he’s learned that the palace is not safe, even for a member of the royal family. It gets even more brutal for those who has hands on the crown.

A loud thunder roars and lightning lights up the sky. Kyungsoo is a brave young boy against these, but he’s not when it comes to his mother.

Suddenly, his nanny comes to him in a rush, running to him even in the pouring rain.

“Young prince, Your Highness! Go inside!” She screams. She picks him up and carries him back to his chambers.

“But my mother is still out.” He replied, pouting.

“She’s safe. You don’t have to worry. She told me to come to you and check on you. Thank the heavens you’re fine.” She pants, already shivering in the cold.

“Why?” He asks, confused. “Why am I supposed to be not fine?”

“I’ll let your mother tell you that but what’s important now is you are alive.” She replies.

The young prince doesn’t understand. “My mother won’t tell me, I assure you! Tell me, nanny. That’s an order.”

His nanny’s eyes grow wide in surprise. Never had Kyungsoo used this tone on her.

“A shaman came to your mother. We still are not sure what just happened, but we lost all your little brothers. The shaman told us the head priestess brought a curse upon the young princes, and this shaman protected you from it.” She explains nervously.

“What do mean lost my little brothers? What happened to them?” Kyungsoo asks in shock. They are too young, far too young.

“They fell sick, all of them.” She sighs. “I’m so sorry. We owe so much to the shaman who saved you. If not for her, we could have lost you.”

“And my mother? Where is she? Why is she not back yet?” He innocently asks, with the news still not sinking in his young mind.

“Kyungsoo?” He hears his mother’s voice, finally, sounding worried. The young prince quickly stands up to run out to meet her outside. She’s as drenched as his nanny.

“Thank the heavens, you’re alive!” She beams, tears falling down her cheeks generously, mixed with the rain. “I was so scared, Kyungsoo, so scared that I’ll lose you.” She pulls him into her embrace, hugging him tightly.

“Mother, are you alright?” Kyungsoo asks as he circles his short arms around his mother’s neck.

“I wouldn’t be if you’re not.”

“My Lady,” a young boy’s voice speaks behind her. Kyungsoo looks straight to the source of the voice, and finds a young boy, about his age, clad in a gray ensemble of a hanbok, soaked head to toe, with some of his long black hair already loose from the bun on his head, sticking against his cheeks and neck. “My mother asked that you take this.”

Lady Do pulls away from her son and lets the other boy come to her. He hands her a red ribbon, her hairtie, one she’s used all her life as a kitchen maiden.

“Thank you.” She sobs. “I’ll do my best to repay you. I owe you my son’s life.”

 

Kyungsoo grunts as he wakes up from the dream, a memory that made him who he is now. Losing his brothers due to political strife and a curse, his mother almost losing him, all these made him who he is now.

When the new Queen came and gave birth to Sehun, Kyungsoo came to love him too much. He vowed to protect the innocent infant cradled by the Queen, no matter what, despite Lady Do’s constant reminder not to involve himself with the new prince.

He’s enthroned Crown Prince after the issue was resolved, his older brother stepping down as his mother, the Queen then, was charged of treason for the deaths of the young princes.

Since then, he knew the palace is a den of manipulative men, who only want control power as much as they can. They will do everything to wield it.

“My Lady, he’s awake.” Kyungsoo hears someone speak. He tries to open his eyes, and though they feel heavy, he fights through and finally opens them. His mother is looking at him expectantly, hands clutching his tightly.

“Crown Prince, can you hear me?” She asks worriedly. He nods with great effort, realizing his body is too weak to move.

“What happened?” He grunts, voice hoarse. He tries to sit up, only to be stopped by his mother.

“You’re still weak. Eunuch Park told me you haven’t been feeling well before you collapsed. Why didn’t you call for the physician?” She mutters.

“I collapsed? When?” He thinks loudly. He tries to remember the last memory he could.

He remembers the morning he asked the Eunuch to get him water. He remembers playing in the pavilion. _He remembers Jongin._

He pushes himself up despite the weakness. “Jongin. Where is she?”

His mother sighs. “It’s not the time to worry about her. You should get rest. I told you to be careful. I trusted you when you said I should not worry, and this is what I get.”

“What? What did the doctors say?” He mutters sternly.

“We’re still waiting for the physician’s report, but initial findings say you were poisoned.” She explains.

He can’t believe it. It’s impossible.

“It can’t be Jongin.” He murmurs. “She’s innocent.”

“Son, get your strength back.”

“Where is she, Mother?” He feels his head spin in the rush, his heart is pounding fast. “Where is she?”

“The king ordered to lock her up.” Lady Do whispers. “She’s the only one close to you for the past weeks. She’s the only one close to you to do such thing.”

“That’s absurd.” Kyungsoo murmurs. He covers his face with his already calloused hands. “She’s not like that.”

“I want to believe so, too. Don’t worry and gain your strength back. She’ll be where she is when you’re strong enough.”

 

Days go by too slowly for him, and only on the fourth day the physician reported that his illness is the likes of an epidemic spreading in a few villages close to the city. It’s not poison that weakened him. Nobody tried to kill him, not Jongin. Kyungsoo explained his little trip to the village a few days ago, meeting the poor people. He assumed he might have caught the illness from the place, as there was a clinic catering for the sick.

Finally allowed to leave his chambers by his mother, Kyungsoo quickly runs to the prison where Jongin is said to be locked in.

He arrives at the place just in time, as Jongin is just released, her things wrapped in a piece of cloth in her hand. She wears white garments, her brown hair disheveled from staying the prison too long. Her eyes are swollen, probably from crying alone inside the dark cellars.

He runs to her, pulls her immediately to his arms and embraces her. They both fall to the ground, as Jongin’s knees give up on her.

“I’m so sorry.” The prince mumbles. “I’m so, so, sorry.”

She only breathes heavily.

“I am sorry that I put you through this. You don’t deserve it. I’m really sorry, _Jongin.”_

“I’m fine, Your Highness.” She whispers. “You can let go now.”

Kyungsoo does and helps her stand up, though she’s struggling to keep her balance. “Let’s get you a meal, first. I’ll take you home.”

“No need, Your Highness.” She murmurs, eyes void of any emotions. “My brothers should be here to take me. They’ll take care of me.”

“ _Jongin,_ let me make it up you.”

“Thank you, Your Highness, but I need some time for myself. I just came out of that dreadful place. I was accused of something I didn’t do. I need to rest.”

Kyungsoo sighs in defeat, apologetic to Jongin for what he’s put her through, but he respects her wishes. He can only hope that Jongin comes around, and lets him make it up to her.

“Fine, but will I see you again?” He asks. She’s still responsible for teaching him, but pressuring her now doesn’t seem to be a good idea.

“We’ll see about that, Your Highness. For now, please let me go home in peace. I feel really weak.”

“Jongin!” Junmyeon screams as he approaches the two. He greets Kyungsoo and thanks him for taking her out of prison. Jongin might not have told him that he’s the reason why she’s in prison in the first place.

“We’ll be going, Your Highness.” Jongin bids goodbye. She and her brother bow as they leave. Kyungsoo watches as she limps her way out the place, holding onto Junmyeon tightly.

 

~

It’s been days, _weeks_ , since he last heard of her. Prince Sehun’s twenty day office in the Bureau has passed, and the palace is back to normal. The formal rehearsals for the Crown Prince’s banquet have since continued.

Kyungsoo goes to the hall everyday to watch, somehow hoping that one day, Jongin will be back to perform her dance. But she doesn’t, and Kyungsoo feels even regretful, blaming himself for hurting her. He spends more time with Sehun, now, who is also very eager to watch the rehearsals, in the absence of his mother.

“Hyungnim, is there anything bothering you?” Prince Sehun asks as the musicians empty the hall. They are done for the day. Kyungsoo looks at the young prince, grateful for the company.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” He lies.

“Of course, you’re not. Is it because of the lady who’s supposed to be teaching you? It’s my fault, isn’t it? If I didn’t ask them to teach you-“

“It’s okay, Sehun. It’s not your fault.” Kyungsoo smiles, patting the boy’s head. “I just feel lonely sometimes. I’m actually thankful that I have you here.”

“Really, hyungnim?” Sehun exclaims, throwing his little body to his elder brother. Kyungsoo accepts him into his arms, embracing the younger.

“Sehun, you’ll soon be old enough to know that even if we’re brothers, people will try to keep us apart. I want you to know that I’ll always be your _hyung_ , and I will never hurt you.”

“I know that, _hyungnim_ and I will do my best not to let anyone hurt you either. So I have a gift for you. I know it’s been bugging you for a while, but I don’t want you sad all the time.” Sehun mutters, pulling away. He reaches down his left sleeve and pulls out an envelope, and hands it to his brother.

“It’s partly my fault, so to make up to you, I did something. Open it.” The young prince says. Kyungsoo pulls the paper from the envelope, unfolding it in front of Sehun, reading a familiar penmanship.

“ _I will accept your command.”_ It reads, confusing Kyungsoo.

“This was my last command as an officer in the Bureau. I requested that she comes back and perform for you, for the last time on your birthday. If you’ll wait a little longer, _hyungnim,_ you’ll see her again.”

Somehow, hope bubbles in his chest, knowing he’s to see her again.

“If she’s willing to be there, I assume she’s willing to give you another chance. She would clearly say no if she doesn’t want to see you ever again.” Sehun adds. “I’m young but I know enough to know that you want to meet her.”

“Thank you, Sehun.” Kyungsoo mutters.

“But don’t tell anyone, though. The Queen doesn’t know yet that I did something. But don’t worry about her. At least the lady said she’ll be here.”

“Thank you.” He pats the younger’s head again, feeling a hint of happiness, smiling as he finally sees the end of his suffering.

 

He doesn’t waste any more time. As soon the night falls, he’s found himself outside the gisaeng place Jongin stays at, contemplating if he should really be there.

_What if she doesn’t want to see me yet?_

_What if she tells me to go back?_

_Maybe I shouldn’t have come._

Such thoughts fill his head, and the more he thinks, the more he’s convinced that coming there unannounced would probably hurt her more.

 _“Kyungsoo?”_ Jongin’s voice calls to him, taking him by surprise. He quickly turns around and sees her. She wears a hanbok of beautiful shade of rose, her face covered with a veil attached to the hat on her head. “What are you doing here?” She asks.

“I’m looking for you.” Kyungsoo mutters in reply. “I want to apologize, to talk to you.” He continues.

Jongin draws the veil away and reveals her face to the prince. “I wasn’t expecting you’d come… ever.”

“I heard from Sehun that you agreed to perform on my birthday.”

“Yes, I did. Who am I to deny a command from a prince.” She mutters. Kyungsoo notices the change in her. She’s showing her façade, one that won’t fool him. By now, he knows some of her personalities too well.

“You denied me once and I’m the Crown Prince.” He teases.

Jongin breaks into a smile. _Finally,_ Kyungsoo thought. “I knew you will mention it. Are you going to punish me then?”

“I’d order you to talk to me,” He smiles, “but I’m not like that. If you’d give me a chance, I really want to apologize.”

“Then go ahead.” Jongin begins to walk along the street, and Kyungsoo follows her. When he’s reached her side, she slows down, walking just a step behind the Crown Prince.

“It’s the first time you let me walk in front you.” Kyungsoo calls out. It is customary for women to walk behind men, yet Jongin proved to him many times that she doesn’t conform to just anything.

“Does it bother you?” She asks, hands pulling her skirt up so she doesn’t step on it. The prince looks at her quickly before walking again.

“It confuses me. You always confuse me.” He murmurs.

“I thought you wanted to apologize, Your Highness.” She teases. “Get on with it.”

This makes Kyungsoo laugh. “I’m really sorry for what happened. I want to make it up to you, but I was scared to look for you.” He stops walking. “It was a misunderstanding. I cleared your name of any case against you, but I wasn’t sure if you’d like to come back and continue my lessons.”

“What is it exactly that you want to say?” Jongin teases.

Kyungsoo himself wants to point the truth as well. He can’t be running around in circles with her, not now that she’s given him the chance. Kyungsoo ponders for a while, continuing his walk, stealing glances behind him every now and then just to make sure Jongin is still following him. They reach Master Im’s store.

“And why bring me here, Your Highness?” Jongin inquires. Kyungsoo walks into the store without saying a word in response, greeting the owner quickly.

Both make their way upstairs, taking a seat in a specially prepared table for the two.

“I didn’t know you’d prepare such a thing.” Jongin says, amused. “but I’m impressed.”

“I told Master Im that I’ll take you here tonight. I apologized beforehand if we don’t come at all in case you push me away. Play with me?”

Kyungsoo beams at him, even with her face covered by the thin veil. Servants come with the instruments, placing them in front of the two. But then, Jongin suddenly takes the _Gayageum_ from Kyungsoo, and cradles it onto her lap instead.

“You talk instead, and I’ll play.” She mutters, settling the instrument to her knee. She begins to play, plucking the strings, as skillful as Kyungsoo remembers her to be. He watches her play intently, enjoying the music, until Jongin looks up to him, waiting.

Kyungsoo decides he should stop being unsure of himself.

“I missed you.” He mutters. “I still feel sorry for what happened, for what I’ve put you through.”

“It was a risk I was willing to take when I volunteered to teach you, Your Highness.” She mutters under breath, still focused on the instrument in hand.

“But still, I put you in a place where you shouldn’t be. I realized a lot about myself when I was with you, but things became clearer while you were gone.”

“What is clear now?” she asks, eyes not leaving the strings her fingers are plucking.

“Th-That I’m…” He stutters. “That _you_ make me feel something. I was curious because you remind me of the shaman I met in Maisan. He looks exactly like you, if not for the different hair and eyes. His hair was the same color of the dress you are wearing now.”

“Is this still about him?”

“No. When I knew you, learned about you, and watched you play everyday, I grew fond of you. As if… I want you stay by my side. I feel normal with you. I liked _Kai_ probably because he’s beautiful, or maybe his silence drew me in. He’s the kind of man I will never be, even if I am the Crown Prince, and he’ll always be beyond me.”

Jongin still continues to play. “And what’s my part in this?”

“But you, you gave me more than that. You played with me, talked to me, walked with me. You laugh and you tell jokes. You drink with me. You told me about your story. You even let me drink with your brothers. If _Kai_ was some magical creature in the mountain I’ll never understand, you are human.”

Kyungsoo sweats nervously, trying to decide if he’s to say what he really wants to say. He scoots closer to Jongin, who stops abruptly, noticing him shift in his seat.

He gently places a hand over hers before speaking again.

“Love is such a strong word, and I’m always unsure of what I feel most of the time. But whatever it is, I want you to stay by my side for now on. If you’d let me, I want to take care of you.” He says gently. He raises a hand to touch her veil, holding the thin cloth in between his fingers, pulling it to the side to reveal her face.

There are already tears in her eyes.

“Be mine, Jongin.”

He inches closer to her, and finally, he plants a kiss on her lips.

 

The wind whistles over the city, blowing stronger and growing colder, shaking the trees, leaves falling completely from them and then to the ground. And as graceful as the orange and brown leaves fall, Jongin’s heart falls as well.

The next morning, the city is covered in dry leaves, and the trees are bare. It is yet another change in the skies, and Kyungsoo fears Jongin would leave the city, as she always does.

But then, the night before, she promised not to leave. Jongin promised to stay.


	3. Winter

**_Then his heart,_ **

**_Now broken into a thousand pieces_ **

**_Slowly began to turn to ice._ ** _(3)_

 

 

_(The first month of the year 1516, Hanyang)_

 

The palace began the preparations a month ago for the Crown Prince’s birthday. It’s the eve of the beginning of the three day festivities in the palace, and Kyungsoo is almost wishing he didn’t agree to the lavish banquet the Queen has prepared for him. The King convinced him, saying it is the first time since his coronation that the palace will celebrate his birthday as grand as this. It’s his first birthday since the drought ended.

The night has fallen over the city, and streets are illuminated by bright lanterns. Even the city will celebrate with him, as if they didn’t mock the crown on Kyungsoo’s head since eleven years ago.

Still, there’s always something to be thankful for, because all of them believed it is through Kyungsoo that the rain came again and revived their dying land. The palace is already filled with gifts, and Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do with them. It is indeed the first time he will be celebrated this way. He’s not used to it.

However, despite all his concerns, one thing made his coming birthday special - _Jongin_.

The two finish their last rehearsal before the banquet the next evening, the piece they’ve been mastering for the previous months, and are on their way back to palace from staying at Master Im’s store the whole afternoon.

Jongin insists he walks Kyungsoo back to the palace, despite him wanting to take her home instead, but the woman doesn’t budge. They walk hand in hand along the busy streets, earning a few smiles from the elders, telling them they look good together.

Oh, how many times have they heard this? Yet, Kyungsoo gets flustered every time.

“Thank you for today.” He beams, squeezing Jongin’s hand gently. “Just so you know, I’m going tell my mother about us tomorrow, and then the King. It will be really difficult, but I don’t want to keep you a secret any longer. Besides, rumor has it I’m smitten with you.” He chuckles.

“And I believe that’s true.” She laughs. “Are you sure of this? Because you know I’m not asking for anything. Having you is enough. I know they won’t accept me.”

“But you’re perfect. Why won’t they accept you? You’re no slave. You were adopted by a good, noble family. There is _nothing_ that will prevent you from-”

“Wait, are you telling me...” She halts, putting her thoughts in order, assuming the direction of the conversation. “Are you asking me to-” She tries to speak, yet fear stops her.

“I’m planning on taking you as my wife but it’ll be a long process.” He explains. Jongin stops walking immediately in shock. Kyungsoo looks at her, worried. “You don’t want to?”

“Kyungsoo, you’re the Crown Prince, not just some young scholar.” She mutters, releasing her hand from the prince’s grip. “This is not going to last for more reasons than you know. I’m sorry.”

“Jongin, don’t you want to be with me?”

“You don’t understand. It’s not as simple as that.” She murmurs, already panicking, unconsciously stepping back away from the prince. “I want to but-”

“Jongin, I love you.”

It is as if time froze between them. Jongin looks at him, with tears already threatening to fall.

Kyungsoo takes both her hands in his. “I’m ready for whatever that will come. Would you be mine, Jongin? Is this going too fast for you? Being with you for the past months were the happiest days of my life.”

“I’m afraid I’ll get hurt. You’re no ordinary man as I am, Kyungsoo. Break my heart and you’ll never see me again.” She replies.

“I will take only one woman to be my wife for the rest of my life. It’ll be you.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t realize the grave consequence of breaking his promise to her and Jongin knows it won’t be long until he breaks that promise, yet she believes him. She hopes she can control her heart, and not be forced to part with him _again_.

 

~

Loud music echoes around the great hall. The banquet has begun, and the whole court is already feasting under the starry sky. The wine doesn’t stop coming and tables are full. The ministers are already laughing and talking, having fun themselves.

The King and the Queen sit in the middle, and Kyungsoo on another table a little lower than them. Lady Do sits excitedly beside her son.

After the well-wishes of the crowd, it is time for the court musicians to take the floor and perform the music they’ve been preparing for months.

Dancers take the center platform, clad in beautiful, colorful dresses, flowers in hand. Kyungsoo has seen all these performances countless of times.

The night goes deeper, and finally, the last performance is about to begin. The Queen herself struts down to the platform and sits, while a servant of hers hands her the _Gayageum_.

“Live long, Crown Prince.” She smiles. Kyungsoo bows in acknowledgement.

This performance, however, is something Kyungsoo only saw once, and Jongin was still a stranger then. He looks forward to seeing her dance again.

The music begins and the Queen plays a familiar solemn tune. Kyungsoo learned to appreciate the music this instrument makes, all thanks to Jongin.

Finally, she takes the stage, clad in an all white ensemble, the upper part of her hanbok shimmering under the moonlight. Kyungsoo is in awe as he lets her beauty sink in.

She begins to dance a routine Kyungsoo has never seen before. She doesn’t even have accessories for the dance. This is her heart, her life, and she offers it wholly to the Crown Prince. There’s no need for added flair or effects, Jongin’s skill is enough. Kyungsoo understands the thought in her movements.

This is her placing her trust on him, and her love.

When the music ends, the crowd begins to cheer praising Jongin for the exquisite performance. Indeed, she’s the best in the land. Kyungsoo can hear the King from the other table praising her beauty and grace as well. He’s impressed.

The King is about to stand until the Queen raises her hand. She stands up and walks back to the King’s side, before announcing that the Crown Prince himself prepared a performance.

Kyungsoo nods, with his heart beginning to leap out of his chest. He’s worried he’ll mess up. This is the first time he’ll perform in front of anyone who’s not Jongin. He walks down to the platform and Eunuch Park gives him the instrument. Jongin takes her place beside him, her bow and _haegeum_ in hand.

“ _I love you._ ” She mouths. Kyungsoo smiles at her before turning his attention to the instrument in hand, sliding his hands along the tight strings. With a deep breath, he begins to play, and the hall quiets down, and the music he makes is the only sound that can be heard. Jongin joins as well.

When the performance ends, an eerie silence envelopes the hall, and both the King and Queen stands to applaud. The crowd follows.

Kyungsoo looks at his mother, waiting for a reaction, but she seems disappointed. This saddens the prince, but he can’t dwell on it for too long, as the King lifts his hand, silencing the uproar.

“I have an announcement to make.” He says, raising his voice for everyone to hear. “Let her in.”

Suddenly, the entrance opens with a loud thud, and a palanquin is carried into the hall by four men, followed by a line of court ladies. Kyungsoo stands up and faces the newcomers while Jongin steps down from the platform, knowing that her presence isn’t needed anymore.

Kyungsoo looks back to his mother, pleading for an answer, if she knows what is happening. Lady Do only shakes her head with a frown.

The King then continues to speak as the palanquin is lowered just behind the platform where Kyungsoo stands.

“The selection process is done. The royal family is pleased to introduce you the Crown Princess-to-be from the Kim clan, Sohyun. The preparation for the wedding will begin once the three day festivities ends.”

Kyungsoo is thrown into shock. His mind goes blank in the events happening around him. He quickly looks behind him and watches as the door flap is pulled open by the servants, revealing the figure inside.

With the help of the court ladies, Sohyun steps out and reveals herself to the royal family, to the crowd, and most importantly, to Kyungsoo.

She bows to greet, flashing a soft smile.

Kyungsoo doesn’t feel anything, except for the cold wind that begins to blow stronger and stronger. The decoration is blown out of their hinges, everyone’s robes flatter in the gush of wind. Even Sohyun holds onto her dress to fight against the wind.

Suddenly, the wind stops, and it begins to rain, not water, but white flakes from the sky. It falls softly, little by little, covering the place in white crystals, until it falls heavily.

“The heavens have sent rain through the Crown Prince, and have sent snow for his wife!” The King exclaims. “Long live the Crown Prince!”

Kyungsoo stands there unmoving, seeing the crystal flakes falling to the floor, decorating the platform in white spots.

_“I’ll take only one woman to be my wife for the rest of my life. It’ll be you.”_

The promise sounds so pleasing to his ears, but so heavy in his heart. He turns just in time to see Jongin running out of the hall in haste.

 

~

Out of respect to the royal family whose reputation is at stake, he stays until the feast ends. His mother apologizes profusely, assuring him that everything will be alright, and that he is just surprised; that the issue of his betrothal will come up even he thinks he’s not ready yet. It will only be a matter of time. He needs to secure enough power and influence to stand for his own when Sehun is old enough to contest his position as Crown Prince, she explains.

But Kyungsoo is taking none of it, as his thoughts are on Jongin, where she went, and how she feels.

Once the formalities are over, Kyungsoo quickly changes his clothes to disguise. Eunuch Park is frantic once again because Kyungsoo seems to be in a hurry, concerned of his safety going out in such weather. But Kyungsoo cannot waste any more time.

He takes his horse and rides out of the palace, to the gisaeng place where Jongin should be, if she went there. He needs somewhere to begin his search.

When he arrives, the guard tells him that Jongin has left.

 _“Not here.”_ He pants. He goes to the inn where her brothers’ are staying, but she isn’t there as well. The innkeeper said that the two siblings already left a few days ago.

He rides around in circles around the city, thinking, searching for her. It’s almost midnight, and the snow hasn’t stopped falling, and the houses are already closed. The city is already sleeping.

Somehow, he hears a sound in silence, faint and far. The distinct soulful sound, fleeting and mellow, echoes over the serene dimmed city. It sounds as if the birds are crying. A flute is being played from a distance.

But then, the music stops. The snow begins to fall intensely and Kyungsoo feels that the breeze is getting colder. There’s one last place he hasn’t gone yet.

Pulling on the reins, he signals his horse to run even faster, to Master Im’s place.

When he reaches the shop, he notices the light emitting from the second floor. He runs in and goes upstairs directly, and finally he sees _her._

She’s crying, hugging a _daegum_ against her chest. Kyungsoo realizes it was her who played the music a while ago. If she did it to help him find her or not, Kyungsoo doesn’t know which.

 _“Jongin.”_ He calls to her, but she continues to weep. He sits in front her carefully, worried for her. Apologizing will not make anything better.

“I gave my heart and my soul but life is too cruel to me.” She whimpers. Kyungsoo pulls her into his embrace, and Jongin even sobs harder. “Kyungsoo, I knew it from the beginning that there is no life nor future with me for anyone, but I came here because I love you. I left for Hanyang to find you and yet, for the second time, I lost you.”

“Hush now, Jongin. You haven’t lost me yet, and you won’t.” He whispers, his hand caressing her hair. But her words are slowly sinking into him. _“I left for Hanyang to find you,”_ She said.

“I don’t understand.” He mutters under his breath. “What do you mean you came here for me? I thought this is about your mother?”

“Stay with me for a while and I’ll show you. It will begin soon, as the first snow has fallen already over the city.” She whispers.

It doesn’t take long to wait. Kyungsoo holds her tight as she rests her head on his shoulders. She’s still crying, but Kyungsoo lets her be, knowing that she needs to let her pain and emotions subside on their own.

“It’s starting.” She whispers. “Don’t look.”

Kyungsoo continues to stare outside and up the sky, tempted to take a peek at her, because he has no clue what she’s talking about. She holds his hand, and fixes her hair, letting it fall down her shoulders.

The striking hue surprises him. He pulls away immediately, not caring for her request and looks straight at Jongin, before crawling away from the scare.

Jongin looks at him shyly, fixing her hair and her hanbok, which looks a little too tight on her now.

Kyungsoo stares at Jongin for a while. He cannot believe his eyes.

“Are you still alive there?” Kyungsoo hears a very familiar voice - _Kai’s._ “Breathe now, Kyungsoo. I’m not a monster. It’s still me.”

Kyungsoo sprawls there unmoving, staring. Jongin sighs, worried for the prince.

“Y-you.” Kyungsoo stutters. “H-how? Your hair is silver and your eyes are gray, and you’re...”

“A man.” Jongin says. “Yes, I am. I’m not sure how to explain this to you.” He frowns.

“This has got to be a dream. Am I dreaming? Did I pass out drinking?” Kyungsoo panics. “You look exactly like her.”

“You said that the first time you met her. That she looks exactly like _Kai._ And now you tell me I look like her.” He smirks.

The mystery finally reveals itself to Kyungsoo as he clicks the puzzles together in his mind. Jongin coming from Maisan, her face, her eyes, her hair, her dance, Kyungsoo realizes he was probably right from the beginning; that they are not mere similarities.

“You mean it’s still you?”

“It is me all along.” Jongin confesses.

“And you didn’t tell me?” The prince grunts, confused.

“I was afraid you’d be scared of me. You’re not running away from me right now, so I think that’s a good sign.” He teases. “I told you not to break my heart.”

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo responds. “I still don’t get it.”

“Dear prince, I always confuse you, don’t I?”

“But-”

Jongin stops him by throwing himself to Kyungsoo so that they are in a familiar position where Jongin is above him. He leans down to kiss Kyungsoo, whose eyes are still wide in shock.

 _It is him._ Kyungsoo thinks. Questions still bugging his mind, he pushes Jongin away gently. Jongin looks at him confused.

Regaining a decent string of sense, the prince shakes his head before speaking. “You mean you’re _Kai_ , and _Jongin_ , and this,” he points at Jongin’s hair, “silver-haired man?”

Jongin laughs watching the bewildered expression on Kyungsoo’s face. “My name is Kim Jongin and I was cursed eleven years ago. Somehow, the weather changes depending on me, and when it changes, I do to. Kyungsoo, am I scaring you?”

“No, not at all. I’m just shocked.” Kyungsoo mutters. “This is beyond what I can imagine. You said this is a curse?”

Jongin nods. “I’m used to it now, but sometimes, it gets to me how unfair it is. But it doesn’t really matter anymore. I don’t think you mind.”

“I don’t.” Kyungsoo replies. “It’ll need a lot of getting used to, but I don’t mind.”

Jongin beams a smile, eyes forming into crescents. “So you love me still?”

“I’m a bit uncomfortable now, but it changes nothing.” The prince mutters.

“And you’re still going to marry her?” Jongin crosses his legs, sighing. Kyungsoo moves closer to the other this time, gently placing his hand over Jongin’s.

“Does it matter now?” he murmurs.

“Of course it does!” Jongin whines.  “it’s because of her I changed!”

“You still surprise me with your personalities, but I love each of it anyway.” Kyungsoo leans closer and kisses the other softly. “Come back to the palace with me.” Kyungsoo whispers as he pulls back.

 

Kyungsoo grunts in his sleep, the heat on his back overwhelming his senses. Uncomfortable, he shifts and turns the other way, only to be enveloped by more warmth. He opens his eyes, and is greeted by Jongin’s smiling face, eyes and lips puffy from the sleep. His silver hair is everywhere, and his striking gray eyes stare back at Kyungsoo with wonder.

Kyungsoo, for the third time in his life, is in awe with how a person can be this beautiful. He assumes it’s because he’s biased with him, and Kyungsoo can’t deny it. He knows Jongin is beyond the natural, and maybe that’s what makes him stand out in his eyes.

“It’s still night, Your Highness.” Jongin mumbles, pulling Kyungsoo closer to him. Kyungsoo snuggles closer, his forehead resting on Jongin’s cheek.

Both arrived at the palace hours ago discreetly, with eunuch Park waiting for the Prince in his chambers. Jongin has changed his clothes before coming, and the Eunuch did not seem interested with Kyungsoo’s company, as he was really tired from the festivities the whole day to care anymore. As long as Kyungsoo’s back, he can retire to his chamber and let another Eunuch stand guard for him. Kyungsoo ordered that he be left alone, hence his whole palace is empty of court ladies and eunuchs for the night except for patrolling guards outside.

“You’re warm.” Kyungsoo whispers. Jongin hums in reply. “I never had the chance to sleep beside you when you were still a woman.”

The other chuckles at this. “Pervert. I thought it doesn’t matter to you?” Strands of his hair fall onto Kyungsoo’s cheek.

“It’s an observation, not a regret.” Kyungsoo defends. “I’m just saying.”

“Well, when I become a woman again, maybe I’ll let you sleep with me.” Jongin teases. Kyungsoo feels the flush in his cheeks. He snuggles even closer, hiding his face at the crook of Jongin’s neck.

“Silence. I said I don’t mind.” He grunts, earning another snicker for the other.

“I know.” Jongin murmurs. “In Maisan, you let me tou-”

A hand suddenly covers his mouth. “I said be quiet. Is it just me or you’re entirely a different person when you change?” Kyungsoo mutters in disbelief, raising his head so he can look at the other. Jongin winks back. “I guess it’s true. Where did my modest and meek Jongin go?” He whines.

“You’ll see her again someday, but for now, I’ll be with you.” Jongin mutters with a hint of playfulness in his tone. “You said you don’t mind.”

“And I said I don’t.” Kyungsoo leans to Jongin, planting a kiss on his lips, as if to prove his point. Jongin catches his nape and pulls him back, kissing him again.

The prince knows his game - _Kai’_ s intentions. Kyungsoo has seen this side of him back in the temple in Maisan. Jongin kisses him harder while Kyungsoo pushes his silver hair away from their faces, letting his finger slide through the soft strands. He tries to push him to lie down but Jongin is obviously stronger.

He’s on his back in a moment with Jongin on top of him, hair falling down his shoulders. Jongin kisses him again full on the lips, and down this neck.

“Wait.” Kyungsoo softly nudges at Jongin. The other looks at him with sultry eyes, his breath already hitching. He reaches to his bedside and pulls a box and opens it, pulling the first thing his fingers could touch.

It’s Kai’s gift for him back in the town in Maisan, the rosy colored ribbon.

“You kept it.” Jongin mutters, looking at Kyungsoo’s hand. The prince doesn’t respond, instead his fingers once again dive into the box, this time pulling out a red one.

Satisfied, he places it on his chest, and gently takes Jongin’s silver hair with both hands to pull it behind him, and then securing it with the red ribbon.

“That’s my life right there.” He confesses, letting his fingers trail from the ribbon to Jongin’s forehead and down his cheeks. He remembers how important this piece of accessory is and the story behind it that happened eleven years ago. His mother always told him to keep it as remembrance of that one fateful night that his life was spared. And though he isn’t sure if Jongin understands his sentiment, he knows in his heart giving Jongin this ribbon is a sign that he’s ready to give all of his to him.

Jongin sees the sincerity in his eyes. He knows Kyungsoo is no doubt his, for the rest of their lives. Still the red ribbon irks him a little, but he decides it’ll be a concern for the coming day. Tonight, he’ll give in to what they both need and want.

Kyungsoo pulls him into another kiss with a promise of a long night ahead of them, both their hearts and body surrendering to a passionate love.

 

~

Kyungsoo has made a way to let Jongin stay by his side from then on, making Eunuch Park do the dirty work of putting Jongin’s name as _Kai_ on the registry of the people serving the Crown Prince without any appointment. The eunuch questioned Jongin’s identity, and finally giving up, Kyungsoo introduced Jongin as the shaman in Maisan, just to shut him up.

Jongin doesn’t seem to mind the arrangement, as long as he’s with Kyungsoo. The prince, on the other hand, is busy with the issue of the appointment of the Crown Princess, trying to find a smart and clean way out of the engagement. Though it pains Jongin to wait for Kyungsoo every time he left his palace, he trusts the prince enough to stay put where he is, looking forward to the time he’ll spend time with him.

One night, Kyungsoo comes back to his chambers, finding Jongin fiddling with the red ribbon in his hand. He finds him in deep concentration, fingers sliding to and fro the thick part of it.

“I’m back.” Kyungsoo says as he closes the door behind him, after retiring his whole retinue to their chambers. Kyungsoo sits beside him, eyeing the object in his hand. “Is something troubling you?”

“I have forgotten all about it for a while.” Jongin murmurs, but Kyungsoo doesn’t understand. He waits for Jongin to continue. “I came here not just to find you. I also came to know what happened to my mother.”

Kyungsoo remembers his story, the curse he doesn’t know he got, and him losing his mother. Jongin pulls his hand and places the ribbon on his hand.

“The last time I saw my mother, she made me run in the heavy rain carrying this. I knew your mother was familiar. I knew I saw her once in my life before I met her as Jongin. And now I remember giving this to her.”

“In the rain?” Kyungsoo asks, sharing the memory.

Jongin nods at him.

“My mother never told me why I should run fast to the lady in the palace that night. I didn’t know who she was. I was doubting because there’s a lot of red ribbons in the land, but I remember this one well. See the red ink that’s smeared at the end?”

Kyungsoo looks closer, and with great effort he finds the red ink.

Jongin continues. “This is the ribbon I delivered for my mother.”

“Your mother saved my life.”

 

~

Kyungsoo walks along the palace grounds with his retinue one morning, with Jongin and Eunuch Park behind him following closely. The snow is still thick on the ground, though Jongin promised him that the weather should be changing soon.

On the way to visit his mother, a tiny voice suddenly screams to call him. “Hyungnim!” Sehun runs to him happily, arms already extended for Kyungsoo to catch him.

“Sehun! Why are you up so early?” He beams as his brother throws himself at him. He carries him and twirl him around, before putting Sehun back down to the ground.

“Our palace is being cleaned by the servants today. Father built me a library where I can study keep my books. If you have time, you should come!” The young prince exclaims, tugging on the hem of Kyungsoo’s blue robes. “Oh?” He suddenly stops, and takes a peek behind his elder brother. “You look like the lady who danced on _hyungnim_ ’s banquet.”

Jongin smiles down at him, not before bowing in courtesy. “Do I look like her? Do you want to know why, Your Highness?” He asks playfully. Sehun nods, as if he’s looking forward learning a secret.

“She’s my sister.” Jongin winks.

“Ah, that’s why. So you work for my brother now?” Sehun asks in curiosity.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Tell her thank you for giving my brother a chance.” Sehun mutters softly, looking up to Kyungsoo. The siblings share a warm smile, before Kyungsoo pulls him into his arms in a tight hug. He just feels like it.

“Ah, you cute boy.” Kyungsoo murmurs against Sehun’s hair. “Let’s read some of your books soon. Father will be so proud of you if you do your studies well.”

“Of course! Just tell me when you’re free, _hyungnim._ I’ll show you a lot of new books my mother bought me. There are even books from foreign lands.” Sehun wiggles out his hold, laughing. “I need to go now. I have lessons with Master Kim today!”

With that, the young prince runs away, his own retinue in a rush to catch up to the ever energetic Sehun.

Kyungsoo continues on his way to his mother when Sehun is out of sight. It’s a short walk to his mother’s palace but the cold is biting nonetheless.

 

Kyungsoo comes into his mother’s chambers after being announced by the court lady serving her. The doors open for him, and he invites Jongin to come inside with him. Lady Do’s face turns white as soon as she sees Jongin behind her son. Kyungsoo notices it.

“I came to visit you, Mother, with some news.” Kyungsoo says. He finds his mother still staring at Jongin, lost in her own thoughts. They both bow in courtesy, and then sits down in front her.

“You.” She mutters in surprise. “You look familiar.”

Jongin nods, waiting for Kyungsoo to speak instead.

“Can we speak privately?” Kyungsoo requests. His mother quickly nods and orders her retinue to leave. Once they are alone, she asks Kyungsoo why.

“This is Jongin.” Kyungsoo introduces him. Lady Do once again stares at Jongin, trying to recognize him. “He’s the son of the shaman who saved my life.”

“Hyoyeon’s son?” She asks.

Jongin nods once again and answered “Yes.”

The expression on her face shows different emotions at once as she places a hand over her chest, feeling her heart as her breathing begins to hitch. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you but no one can find you.”

She stands up and kneels in front of Jongin, taking his hands for her hold. “Thank the heavens you’re alive! I owe you and your mother my life. I want to repay you for what your mother did as much as I can. I may never bring her back, but know that I owe you my son’s life.”

“Mother,” Kyungsoo calls to her, “He wants to know what happened to her.”

Lady Do sighs, going back to her previous seat behind a small table. She pulls a drawer and reveals an envelope, already crumpled due to the circumstances it was handed in.

“She asked me to find you, but I failed to do that. This is the letter she left for you. I promised her I’ll give you this.” She hands the envelope to Jongin who immediately opens it and pulls the thin paper out. He reads the content with a heavy heart, as Kyungsoo and Lady Do watch.

“ _My baby, Jongin. You were very brave, and I’m so proud of you. By the time you read this letter, I am already gone but remember that I’m always here, watching you. I am sorry that I brought upon you a curse you do not deserve. I am sorry for putting someone else life before yours. I did this to save my friend Sooyoung’s son. I believe Prince Kyungsoo will be a great man someday, and though I know life will be difficult for you, this is the only way for him to survive. Please don’t resent him. Instead, serve him. I know you will want to find justice for my death, but don’t. I leave this world in peace. I will always love you.”_

Jongin puts down the letter carefully, with tears generously flowing down his cheeks. At long last, he’s known his mother’s heart and has read her goodbye. It is more than enough for Jongin, and in honor of her last wish, he vows to serve Kyungsoo for the rest of his life.


	4. Summer

  ** _Love knows no winter;_**

**_No, no!_ **

**_It is, and remains the sign of Spring._ ** _(4)_

 

 

_(The fourth month of the year 1516, Maisan)_

 

Jongin finally finds his peace and Kyungsoo can’t be any more grateful that fate has brought him and Jongin together. They find happiness despite their circumstances, always looking back to their journey, with hope for a better tomorrow.

Kyungsoo has stepped down the throne for his younger brother Sehun, to shield both of them from any political strife that will threaten to split them apart. He fulfilled his end of the promise that he will protect Sehun no matter what, and that is by giving him the crown even before anyone schemes to make it happen, before anyone gets hurt. He knew all along that Sehun is a smart and kind young boy, and he believes he will be a great king someday.

It’s a rather cool day in Maisan and the sun is shining brightly all over the land. The snow has melted, and trees begin to bear leaves and fruits once again.

Jongin and Kyungsoo are in the temple where they first met, visiting for a few days before travelling further south of the country. The monk welcomes them and takes their horses, leaving the two to walk to the sanctuary that holds memories of them both.

Jongin takes Kyungsoo’s hand and intertwine his fingers with his as they step in the sanctuary.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo mutters, “Don’t you want to break your curse?”

Jongin smiles at him as he takes off his hat. “Do you want it broken?”

“I told you I don’t mind since the beginning, but aren’t you tired of it?” Kyungsoo asks.

“I really don’t care about it anymore. To tell you the truth, my curse makes me feel special.”

“That you can be a man and a woman?”

“No, silly.” Jongin laughs. “That the heavens change at my will. You can easily tell how I feel when you look at sky.”

Kyungsoo nods in agreement. Jongin is indeed special, and he’s changed the color of the skies in a span of one year, all because of him.

“May I dance for you?” Jongin shyly asks, letting go of the other’s hand.

“Of course.” Kyungsoo replies as he sits on the floor, to give space for Jongin.

Jongin spins once, twice, thrice…

And on his last spin, his hair turns black and his eyes, too.

 

**_A new season has come._**

**Author's Note:**

> Sources/Credits:  
> (1) Unknown source  
> (2) Andrea Gibson  
> (3) Michelle Rowen  
> (4) Johann Ludwig Tieck  
> Prompt by @kaisooprompts : "where Kyungsoo meets Jongin whose color of hair and eyes change every season, not knowing he’s the four season spirit."


End file.
